The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world!

Hello, Bugleers, and welcome to issue 4203 of the Bugle Audio newspaper for a visual world with me and his ozman.

Coming to you exclusively live and in zero dimensions from the shed here in South London. We are recording on August 30th of August.

In the year 2021, we are still using the old system of years counting up from the birth of Jesus Herbert Christ, the influential Middle East-based entertainer, rather than the new system of counting down to the end of the world, by which system it is the 30th of August.

2021, but what a happy coincidence. That is the end of the world, not the end of civilization, which could be significantly closer.

How do I know that? Well, good journalists never reveal their sources as I discovered during a very frustrating queue at the Berger van at the National Society of Investigative Reporters Annual Conference.

Join me this week from San Francisco, California. It's NATO Green! Hello, NATO, how are you?

Hello, Andy, hello, Bugleers. It's wildfire season in California, which means this is the time of year where I monitor air quality index stats like you monitor cricket scores.

Every minute, I'm tracking all of the sensors in my neighborhood to tell me when I can complete a full respiratory cycle, because the smoky haze is drifting down from the mountains.

This summer, Andy, I was able to, thanks to the power of the vaccines, see some of my family who I had seen in a year and a half, and I spent some time with my niece, who's three, and I was wearing a Bugle T-shirt, and we were playing on the floor, and she pointed at my Bugle T-shirt, and she pointed at the drawing of your head, and she said, is he angry?

And I said, just it Jacob Reece Mogged for some reason, and she said, he's a f***ed, but she's three, so it's okay.

Oh, that's a heartwarming story, and if any Bugle listeners want to get hold of a Bugle T-shirt to verify their three-year-old relatives, do go to the Bugle website and click the merch button.

Also, from the very same continent that I'm on, it's Mark Steele. Hello, Mark, how are you?

I'm fine, sir. I'm fine. I'm listening to that story about anger, and it sort of connects me, because my son has been at the Red Infestible, and he came in this morning at half past six.

He was standing up, he was just showing there, but also he was sort of, I don't know what else he was doing, it's best not to ask, but he was, and I'm with the last time I was at the Red Infestible, it was the most wonderful display of anger I think that I've ever seen, because I love what you've banned, and I went to something that was on it about 11 in the morning, and no one else is up at 11 in the morning.

And there was about eight people in this tin, and this band was so magnificently angry, and I couldn't understand a single word at all. It was just like, what are you doing?

And I thought, oh, this is great, I don't know what they're on about, and I swear the only word that I could actually work out was at the end of this song, he just went, what are you doing?

Oh, that's a skull spunk guy.

Anyway, we are recording on the 30th of August, which means by the time most of you listen to this, it will be or will be very nearly being actually September, and what a month September is the joint second shortest month of the year, not for September, the Shelley shallying around elongating the year that we see so often from the likes of July, March or August.

Which is dragging on yet again as we record, but also September lacks the ostentatious time disrespecting shortness and variability of February.

It's just non-id solid month that gets the job done in a box down to 30 day times ban, but could September be under threat?

Rumor has it that researchers found that focus groups think people find traditional months a bit boring and confusing.

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