People keep asking me why my boss, Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee, was at the Lakewood

Church press conference.

I'll tell you what she told us.

Just because these people don't care enough about me to make me mayor don't mean that I don't care about them.

She was there because she conducted her own investigation.

You should have seen her roll up on the scene that day.

The town car pulled up and then one of her

staffers jumped out of the back and ran all the way around to the other side just

to open the door for the Queen. Slowly, Aunt Sheila appeared.

She stopped while that same staffer put a deer stalker hat

on top of her triple crown weave.

Then she put this kind of cape over her shoulders. To complete the

ensemble, the Queen took out a pipe and proceeded to puff away even though the

pipe wasn't lit. She called to her staff her,

Come Watson, man my name's Chevrolet.

No today you're Dr. Watson and not a real doctor like Jill Biden

because you too stupid.

No you honorary doctor like Dr.

Johnny fever, baby."

So the two of them proceeded to go under the crime scene tape and look around.

At one point, Sheila reached into her brassiere and pulled out a magnifying glass and got down on all fours.

She was heard to say, not since I saw the case of the hounds of Acres Holmesville have I seen such a scene.

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