Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bale of Jesse Thorn. This week, parents

just don't understand. Our plaintiff, Avogile, is an 11th grader. She says that her father

should not be allowed to dictate what movies she watches. Apparently, the defendant, Mike,

has instituted an informal film literacy program at home asking Avogile to stay home on Saturday

nights and watch films with him. Is this reasonable? Outrageous? Only one man can decide. Please rise

as Judge John Hodgman enters the court. Come before me, he who seek the Hodg's justice.

You may be seated. Another interesting new catchphrase attempt, Judge Hodgman. Catchphrases are

the only way we're going to sell this thing. I was counting on selling it with our good looks.

It's a perfect approach for radio. I figured this would be the Baywatcher podcasting.

It may be replaced by Pamela Anderson at any moment.

Should I not be wearing a two-piece string bikini? I'm sure you're wearing an extremely

nice formal two-piece string bikini that you got from an estate sale. I suspect in Black Watch

plaid. It is. Exactly. If I know Bale of Jesse Thorn, I know what kind of bikini he wants to wear.

And you know my preference in tartans? I do. Well, it's anyone's preference, really.

Avogile, Mike? Oh, well, you people are here. Hello. Yes, really uncomfortable, but we're here.

I'm sorry. You'll get to sit down again in a moment. I understand that you have requested a

special swearing in, or in this case, non-swearing in. That is correct, Your Honor.

And so how would you like to be non-swearing in? Well, we would like to affirm.

Because you recognize no higher authority. Is that correct? For religious reasons, we've

deferred enough to swear that's between us and God. Okay, great. Avogile, Mike, do you affirm that

you will tell the truth is the whole truth and nothing but the truth? We do. Do you affirm that you

will abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the high probability that it will be ill-considered

...