Hello, beautiful butterflies. Have you ever wondered if your child is being abusive to you?

In my flying higher program, which is for Christian women who are interested in doing deeper

personal development work with me, I often get some version of that question.

They might say, you know, sometimes my child yells at me when they don't want to do

their tours. Sometimes they will even say, I hate you and scream at me and slam their doors on me or even

give me the silent treatment for days at a time. And it really triggers me because it reminds me of maybe their

husband or their ex or their dad or their mom when they were a kid. Well, recently someone asked a

similar question in our community forum and various other members jumped in and offered their

thoughts. Here's what some of them said.

One member thought that, you know, if kids grow up seeing that kind of behavior modeled,

then it's not surprising if they show up that way as well.

Makes sense.

Another person pointed out that since abuse is about power,

and since children do not have the kind of power that adults have, then it's not abuse.

And another member made the point that if a child behaves like a child by trying to manipulate his parents in order to get his own way, well, that's childish behavior, pretty typical,

and it can be shaped. But when an adult behaves like a child by doing the same manipulative things,

well, that's abusive. In other words, children are not resourced in the same ways that adults are.

They don't get a pass for being manipulative. Not that children get a

pass for being manipulative either, but at least we don't, this person was like, it's not abusive.

It's just, that's just what kids do. That's they're trying to figure out how to, how to, you know,

get what they need out of life. And I tend to agree with that. The problem that I see is that

when we as parents believe that our children have power over us and can control us, then what are we

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