you know I knew I needed to go to rehab way before I went to rehab and I knew that I'm not supposed

to be getting high, it's not going to end well and so I had that knowledge in the back of my head

always like I knew I had to get sober again so basically it's like how long do you how much time do

I want to waste and for every day for a really long time I knew I had to go to treatment and I just

couldn't do it because it's easier just to like smoke more than to get your life together you know

that's a lot of work and it's a lot of feelings that I am trying to avoid I don't want to be like oh

let me go to rehab let me pack let me figure out who's going to watch my dogs let me like face my

my demons head on no I'm just going to reach for a joy you know that's just easier let's forget

about it till tomorrow so what happened was that I wrote about in the book I eventually started

throwing up from from marijuana toxicity and that scared the shit out of me and also my doctor

told me my lung capacity was at 65 percent so I was like you know what like when the when I started

vomiting I got really scared I'm like okay now you're like physically poisoning yourself

I'm Strenie Rao and this is the unmistakable creative podcast where you get a window into the

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Pam welcome to the unmistakable creative thanks so much for taking the time to join us

hi thanks for having me yeah it is my pleasure to have you so I found out about your book

big about you know about your work by way of your publicist and when I saw the title of your book

was called don't bring your vibrator to rehab I was like okay that's interesting that got my

attention immediately and I just finished reading this morning but before we get into the book and

your work I want to start asking what is one of the most important things that you learned from one

...