Pain is Unavoidable - Suffering...Not So Much (aka Optional)

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 26 April 2023

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Pain is unavoidable; suffering, on the other hand, is apparently an option. Most people prefer neither pain nor suffering, but if suffering indeed is an option, how does one get rid of suffering in life? Tony references Jade Wu, Ph.D.'s article "Pain is Unavoidable, Suffering Is an Option" https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-savvy-psychologist/202008/pain-is-unavoidable-suffering-is-option (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-savvy-psychologist/202008/pain-is-unavoidable-suffering-is-option), and he explores Rick Hanson's "Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom," https://amzn.to/3oMF3xs (https://amzn.to/3oMF3xs)Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch (https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch)Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch (https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch) Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 (https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0)Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384)Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop (http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop) to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com (http://pathbackrecovery.com/) And visit http://tonyoverbay.com (http://tonyoverbay.com/) and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ (https://descript.com/?lmref=bSWcEQ)

Transcript

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0:00.0	So we're going to start with a little story time today. I can remember the very first time that I ran the Western States 100 mile endurance run.
0:07.3	And it's considered somewhat of the Super Bowl of 100 mile races. You actually have to complete other 100K or 62 mile races or 100 mile races just to qualify to then enter a lottery to run this particular 100 mile race. And there have been
0:21.9	people that have been in the lottery for years with your chances of increasing, getting a little
0:26.7	bit better each year, but you still have to run a qualifying race. And I was fortunate enough to make
0:31.3	it through that entire lottery process, not once but twice, actually not once or twice, but
0:36.7	three times. And I ran the race and completed it
0:39.7	on three different occasions. But there is a section of downhill from around mile 94 to 96 down to this
0:47.3	place called No Hands Bridge, that it truly is some of the most incredible and wonderful, excruciatingly,
0:54.0	painfully awesome pain
0:56.0	that I think one will ever feel in their lifetime.
0:59.3	Now, I have not given birth, and I can't even imagine what that experience must be like,
1:04.2	and I'm guessing that someone would take this particular stretch of downhill,
1:07.8	even though it feels like your quads are being stabbed with these ice picks
1:11.8	over delivering a human being out of your body, probably any day of the week. But for me,
1:17.4	I have never carried so many emotions at one time from pain and joy and euphoria and exhaustion
1:23.0	and pride and determination and hope and fear and exhilaration, and I think that I could keep going.
1:28.4	But in that moment, what I remember clearly, and I've thought about this so often, was having a
1:33.7	lack of, was suffering. So fast forward a few years, and I ran around this quarter mile track for
1:40.3	24 hours for six straight years to raise money for schools. And I remember trading messages with
1:45.5	somebody who had done something similar the year before at his kid's school. And he had shared
1:50.2	that at one point he asked for the track to be cleared for a few hours in the wee hours of the
1:55.1	morning as he was really entering this pain cave. He said where the pain just met up with this
	...

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