Pain Is Self Chosen
The Daily Stoic
Daily Stoic | Backyard Ventures
4.5 • 5.3K Ratings
🗓️ 3 January 2020
⏱️ 5 minutes
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Summary
“My pain is self-chosen,” Layne Staley sings on the melancholy Mad Season hit, River of Deceit. “At least I believe it to be.” That belief, the Stoics would concur, is well-founded. Pain is a choice.
Now before you get upset hearing that, wait a second. We’re not talking about physical pain. You don’t choose the stabbing pains from a knife wound or a back injury. It’s not your fault that cancer treatment is brutal, and no one is saying that people ask to be abused, physically or otherwise.
What the Stoics refer to as a chosen pain is the sense of being wronged. "Choose not to be harmed,” Marcus Aurelius wrote, “and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed—and you haven't been." He means that if you don’t feel like you’ve been singled out or screwed over, then were you? No, because that’s subjective. Just as it was subjective whether you thought the intention of this email was victim-blaming or whether you see it for what it is: a different way to think about the situations we find ourselves in throughout life.
Getting cut from a team—that’s objective. A sense that you were dealt a grave injustice? That isn’t. The resentment you decide to nurse for getting cut? That’s self-chosen pain. And choosing it usually comes at the expense of getting back to work and earning your spot (or changing teams so you’re no longer at the mercy of that capricious coach). Being born poor or dyslexic or being at the wrong place at the wrong time. That’s not your fault. No one is disputing the realness of the pain that would cause. But what is less real—what’s chosen—is the chip you carry on your shoulder about it. So is deciding to lay down and quit. Or to focus on who you can blame.
Believe that.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoke Podcast early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. |
| 0:13.6 | Welcome to the Daily Stoke. For each day, we read a short passage designed to help you cultivate the strength, insight, wisdom necessary for living good life. |
| 0:23.3 | Each one of these passages is based on the 2000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us at dailystoke.com. |
| 0:36.3 | Pain is self-chosen. My pain is self-chosen, laying stale sings on the melancholy mad season hit, River of Deceit. At least, I believe it to be. That's what he says. |
| 0:49.3 | That belief, the stokes would concur as well-founded. Pain is a choice. Now, before you get upset at hearing that, wait a second. We're not talking about physical pain, really. You don't choose the stabbing pains from a knife wound or a back injury. It's not your fault that cancer treatment is brutal, and no one is saying that people ask to be abused physically or otherwise. |
| 1:09.3 | What the stokes refer to as chosen pain is the sense of being wrong. Choose not to be harmed, Marcus Aurelius wrote, and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed, and you haven't been. |
| 1:21.3 | He means that if you don't feel like you've been singled out or screwed over, then where are you? No, because that's subjective. Just as it was subjective, whether you thought the intention of this email was victim-laming, or whether you see it for what it is. |
| 1:35.3 | A different way to think about the situations we find ourselves in throughout life. Getting cut from a team that's objective. The sense that you are dealt a grave injustice, that isn't. The resentment you decide to nurse for getting cut, that's self-chosen pain. |
| 1:51.3 | Choosing it usually comes at the expense of getting back to work and earning their spot, or changing teams so you're no longer at the mercy of that capricious coach. |
| 2:00.3 | Being born poor or dyslexic, or being at the wrong place at the wrong time, that's not your fault. No one is disputing the realness of the pain that would cause. |
| 2:10.3 | But what is less real, what is chosen is the chip you carry on your shoulder about it, so is deciding to lay down and quit, or to focus on who you can blame. Believe that. |
| 2:22.3 | If you're liking this podcast, we would love for you to subscribe. Please leave us a review on iTunes or any of your favorite podcast listening apps. It really helps and tell a friend. |
| 2:41.3 | Hey, Prime Members, you can listen to the Daily Stoke early and add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and add free with Wondering Plus in Apple podcasts. |
| 2:54.3 | Entrepreneur Phil Knight started a company called Blue Ribbon Sports on the strength of what he called a crazy idea that American joggers needed better running shoes and that they pay top dollar to get them. Hi, I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondering Show Business Movers. |
| 3:09.3 | We tell the true stories of business leaders who risked it all, the critical moments that define their journey and the ideas that transform the way we live our lives. |
| 3:17.3 | In our latest series, Phil Knight sets out to build an empire by importing athletic shoes from overseas in Japan. |
| 3:24.3 | But in 1971, a dispute with a Japanese manufacturer almost brings Blue Ribbon's growth to a screeching halt. In this moment of crisis, Phil bets the future of his company on a big move. |
| 3:35.3 | He creates an in-house brand and takes control of the production of his product following this bold new direction. Phil ultimately creates one of the most recognizable and successful companies in the world, Nike. |
| 3:47.3 | Follow business movers wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen and free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app. |
| 3:54.3 | Brace Beach is essential to a functioning democracy. Do you believe Twitter rigorously adheres to this principle? What should be done? Is a new platform needed? Is Twitter dying? |
| 4:04.3 | I'm David Brown, host of the new Wondering podcast, Flipping the Bird, Elon versus Twitter. Join us as we unravel the fascinating story of Elon Musk's unexpected bid to buy Twitter and all of the drama that has happened since then. |
| 4:17.3 | Those still employed at Twitter soon saw the company and its culture morphed into something they didn't recognize. |
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