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Happy Monday, everyone. Yes, I am happy Monday, everyone.

Yes, I am Tom Shilu in for Greg on this very special edition of Gutfeld.

Let's do some headlines.

A woman wound up with a $21,000 medical bill after a bat flew into her mouth.

She claims it's the last time she vacations in Wuhan.

Yeah. According to new data, walking 7,000 steps per day can greatly improve your health. Does falling down steps count?

Michael Jackson's D white sock that he once wore on stage has sold for $9,000 at a French auction.

And it's still the best smelling thing in France.

Oh, yeah. Don't go after. France. I've been there.

Critics were horrified that President Trump turned the Rose Garden into a patio.

What a waste. All that concrete and no body's buried under it, said one woman.

A man named Jeffrey Epstein is running for mayor in a Massachusetts town,

and he refuses to change his name.

He says, even if he's losing in the polls, he plans to hang tight. Okay. The new Golden Bachelor is facing backlash for saying he didn't want anyone over 60 with artificial hips or wigs.

Looks like these two contestants are out.

According to a new study, spending 15 minutes a day outside can enhance your physical and mental well-being.

...