Owen Marcus - How To Cultivate Mature Masculinity

ManTalks Podcast

Connor Beaton

Relationships, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.8 • 591 Ratings

🗓️ 13 May 2024

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Talking points: masculinity, culture, relationships What is it men are actually looking for? We know how media tends to define "masculinity", but what is it men are wanting to define? I sat down with MELD founder and fellow coach Owen Marcus to dig into some of this, because we've both found that what men really want and what mainstream narratives say they want are often two different things. Dig in, team. (00:00:00) - Why do you think “masculinity” gets so much attention in our culture? (00:05:44) - When are where do men feel most aligned, and why getting out of your head is important (00:12:07) - Where did mature masculinity go, and the balance of biology and culture (00:19:25) - What happens when men miss moments of maturation (00:27:03) - The value of being able to share what you’re going through with others, and what gets in the way (00:33:27) - What is emotional physiology? (00:39:24) - Tools to get back into the body, and what about men who avoid the work for fear it’ll make things worse? Owen Marcus resisted getting into men's work, and it was only because his pain exceeded his fear that he started his first men’s group in 1995 in his clinic in Scottsdale, AZ. The conventional approach to men’s groups began to feel inadequate for Owen and the deep, transformative work he sought. After completing his straw bale home in the forests of Idaho, he decided to take everything he had developed in his practice and worked to create a new model. By the middle of 2005, he had a thriving men's group group. What began as the Sandpoint Men’s Group (SMG) grew beyond Marcus's wildest expectations. Nineteen years later, it boasts over 400 alumni and more than 50 active members. This journey led to the birth of EVRYMAN and now MELD, each step an evolution of his initial vision. Connect with Owen -Website: https://meld.community/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meld.men/ -LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/owenmarcus/ *** Men, the next Men's Weekend is VERY soon. Join us in California for a transformative journey of reclamation. Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	All right, Owen, welcome back to the Man Talk Show. How are you doing today?
0:11.1	I'm doing great. Thank you. For those that are listening, Owen and I had to hit record because otherwise we were going to just basically shoot the shit catching up. We just spent like the last 20, 20 minutes
0:22.0	catching up. And I feel like we could have just, we could have just caught up for, for the entire
0:27.3	time and forgotten about the podcast. So I feel like you're going to have some insight into a very
0:32.3	friendly conversation today. But where I wanted to begin, Owen, is on this, just the topic of masculinity, it's funny
0:39.2	because I don't, it's not something that I engage a lot with, this dialogue about masculinity.
0:46.6	And for a number of reasons, I think in mainstream media, it's talked about a tremendous
0:52.0	amount. And it's talked about as being toxic. It's talked about as being harmful. It's talked about as needing to be redefined. It's, you know, all these types of things. And yet a lot of men come out to our work, and I would imagine come out to your work, and are kind of questioning like, what is masculinity? Am I masculine? And so what's your take on maybe a couple things? One,
1:15.1	how do you view what masculinity is, which is a very big question? And number two, why do you
1:20.3	think it's getting so much attention within our culture right now? So my view of masculinity is
1:27.4	this. Yeah, men never come to us saying, I want to
1:30.8	build my masculinity. We never hear that term from our men. We only hear it really from the media
1:36.0	and academia. And I think because they're looking for some broad term to describe the whole male experience, and it just continues to be
1:47.5	used or overused, and then you get the toxic masculinity and all of it sort of placed on masculinity.
1:54.6	I do think there's something valid with it, particularly in terms of the cultural frame that men
2:00.4	are dealing with and struggling with
2:02.2	and fighting against.
2:03.7	We did a big study several years ago, and the takeaway was men don't feel good enough.
2:09.8	That was the bottom line.
2:11.3	And I think that goes to what you're saying, Connor, is that I think men are struggling
2:16.6	with, you know, because we're so performance-oriented.
2:19.6	How am I a better man? And I got into this work one reason was because I couldn't call myself
	...

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