Oversharing vs. Undersharing: How Revealing Too Much (or Too Little) Shapes Health, Relationships & Career with Leslie John

Self-Helpless

Cloud10

Alternative Health, Science, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 3K Ratings

🗓️ 4 March 2026

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Delanie Fischer chats with Leslie John, Harvard professor and author of Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing, about the nuanced risks and rewards of undersharing versus oversharing in our lives. They explore how the choices we make about what to reveal — and what to withhold — can profoundly shape our health, relationships, and even our careers. Leslie also shares practical, research-backed strategies for becoming a more effective and intentional sharer. Episode Highlights: Impact of Secret-Keeping on Your IQ (+ How Undersharers Are Perceived) 3 Studies About the Pros & Cons of Undersharing vs. Oversharing Transparency in Job Interviews: What Kind of Shares Works Best Burned by Oversharing? 2 Questions to Ask Yourself Discernment & Balance: What to Share, When, and With Whom ____ A quick 5-star rating means a ton! ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416⁠ Get a bunch of free Self-Helpless goodies: ⁠https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/⁠ Ad-free episodes now on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless⁠ Your Host, Delanie Fischer:⁠ https://www.delaniefischer.com⁠ ____ Related Episodes: How Judging Others (and Yourself) is Sabotaging You with Jessica Frew: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/3ea318d2/how-judging-others-and-yourself-is-sabotaging-you-with-jessica-frew Adult Friendships: How to Start, Nurture, and When to Let Go with Dr. Joy Berkheimer: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/368f37c7/adult-friendships-how-to-start-nurture-and-when-to-let-go-with-dr-joy-berkheimer How Confidence, Culture & Self-Worth Shape Success with Big Asian Energy’s John Wang: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/228fec8c/how-confidence-culture-and-self-worth-shape-success-with-big-asian-energys-john-wang Attention-Seeking Behaviors: Understanding Sympathy-Seeking, Root Causes, and Empathy-Based Approaches with Dr. Judy Ho: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/3a0c8810/attention-seeking-behaviors-understanding-sympathy-seeking-root-causes-and-empathy-based-approaches-with-dr-judy-ho Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Self-helpless.
0:01.0	Hey everyone, welcome to Self-Helpless, where science, spirituality, and sustainability are brunch buddies.
0:07.0	I'm Delaney Fisher, and details about today's topic can be found in the episode description.
0:12.0	Ad-free episodes are now available on Patreon at patreon.com slash self-helpless.
0:17.0	And self-helpless is social media free, so the best and only way to stay in the loop
0:21.8	is by subscribing to the pod on your favorite podcast app or joining the email list at self-helpelesspodcast.com
0:28.1	where you'll get all kinds of free goodies. Okay, it's podcast time. Why is it even beneficial for
0:34.7	us to understand the science behind oversharing versus undersharing?
0:40.1	Like how can this information actually help us in our daily lives when it comes to work or friendships, romantic relationships, anything that you want to share?
0:48.7	Every day, we don't realize it, but we have so many opportunities to share.
0:53.6	We have so many, there are so many times that we actually could share more that we don't realize it, but we have so many opportunities to share. We have so many, there are so many
0:55.5	times that we actually could share more that we don't even think about it. And so partly it's like
1:01.0	becoming more aware, aware of the opportunities and then doing it wisely. If we learn how to
1:07.7	reveal wisely, and it really is a skill, it's not something that we're born with or
1:11.5	without. It is a skill. And if we do it well, we get so much, we get like better mental and
1:17.0	physical health. Like, I'm a scientist. I'm like super skeptical. And so I've done all the nerdy work.
1:21.7	And it checks out that it increases when you reveal wisely, it increases your mental health,
1:26.6	your physical health. It improves your relationships.
1:29.1	It can even make you more influential as a leader in the workplace.
1:32.2	And I'd imagine the opposite is true if you're kind of withholding information or secrets that it may be, right?
1:39.0	Like, I don't know, your nervous system or anything like that.
1:42.2	Yeah, your nervous system, there have been studies of when you're actively
	...

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