In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, Jami sits down with Candace Smouse, a TFI advocate from Spokane, Washington, who is a foster, adoptive, and birth mom to six kids. Fostering as a family for five years, Candace shares her journey of opening her home to children with special needs and navigating the unique joys and demands of raising her now-adopted son who has autism. She explores the common fears foster parents face when considering a special needs placement and offers insight on moving forward through the unknown with faith and expectation.

Candace candidly details the realities of bringing her son home just before his fourth birthday as his fourth placement in a short span of time. She describes the initial challenges of caring for a child who was completely nonverbal, not potty trained, and struggling with behavior and severe dietary restrictions. Through her family's story, she highlights the exhausting early months, the complex dynamics and feelings of parental guilt that can surface with biological siblings, and the turning point of finding the right in-home therapeutic support.

The conversation also breaks down the different levels of autism to help listeners better understand the wide spectrum of care children may require. Candace shares practical advice on how to become a "squeaky wheel" and fiercely advocate within the school system, utilizing resources like Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) and special education accommodations.

Ultimately, this episode provides deep encouragement for any caregiver feeling isolated or overwhelmed in the thick of special needs parenting. Candace points listeners toward a profound hope rooted in the Lord, reminding foster and adoptive families that they are never truly alone and that stepping into the hard places can expand a family's world with unexpected blessings, deeper empathy, and unconditional love.

About the Guest

Candace Smouse is a TFI advocate based in Spokane, Washington. She has been married for 18 years and is a mother to six children through birth, foster care, and adoption. With five years of active fostering experience, Candace is deeply passionate about serving the foster care community, supporting families, and sharing the lessons she has learned through years of dedicated care for her adopted son with autism.

In This Episode

• An introduction to Candace's background and how a recurring dream prepped her heart to accept a special needs placement.

• The realities of navigating the foster care licensing system and handling the emotional weight of saying no to difficult placements.

• A look into the early days with her son Anthony, including the challenge of being his fourth placement in less than six months.

• Understanding the three levels of autism, ranging from high-functioning traits to intense, around-the-clock physical care needs.

• Navigating the hidden challenges of special needs parenting, such as public outbursts, sibling jealousy, and the pressure of public judgment.

• Learning to advocate in the school system by utilizing therapeutic partners, tracking data, and calling IEP meetings.

• How special needs parenting expands a family's perspective, fostering deep empathy, awareness, and immediate acceptance within biological children.

• A message of hope and perseverance for caregivers enduring seasons of parenting exhaustion and spiritual despair.

Resources + Links

• Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative - https://theforgotteninitiative.org/

• Follow TFI on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theforgotteninitiative/

• Full Spectrum Parent by Christian Parenting (podcast) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/full-spectrum-parent-christian-autism-support-special/id1589016732

• The Warner Boys by Ana and Curt Warner (book) - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40552513-the-warner-boys

• Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew by Ellen Notbohm (book) - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/163659.Ten_Things_Every_Child_with_Autism_Wishes_You_Knew