Think back to the time that maybe you're the angriest you've ever been.

For a lot of us, the reason why we got so mad may have nothing to do with what we originally

thought it was.

I mean, many times something is under the surface.

I'm John Fuller joined by Dr. Greg Smolley and his wife Aaron Smolley.

They lead the focus on the family marriage team and Aaron, I'll put you on the spot here.

You're always so candid anyway, but thank you.

I don't have to say anything.

Not you personally, but the people you work with or maybe somebody you live with, how often

do you see them?

They're upset with their spouse, but actually there's something else going on, maybe even

in their past.

Yes, anger is interesting because anger is used strategically.

Oftentimes it can be a primary emotion, but a lot of times it's a secondary emotion.

And what that means is it could be that we are just angry and frustrated, but underneath

anger sometimes there is deeper stuff going on.

There's fear, there's hurt, there's grief, there's something else going on.

And so typically when I see anger, A, it tells me that there's a lot of energy for a reason.

Either we're using it to take control of a situation we feel helpless in, or we're

using it to keep people away, that we don't want to be vulnerable and it feels vulnerable,

so we use it to protect.

That is really interesting.

...