Our Sex Life is a Disaster

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Society & Culture, Education, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.7 • 16.4K Ratings

🗓️ 2 February 2026

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We hear from a couple who have long been happy in their marriage, except for one thing: their sex life. In moments of intimacy, one freezes, the other hesitates, and they end up locked in a cycle of uncertainty and distress. On the precipice of becoming parents, they come to Esther worried about how their sex life might further deteriorate in this next stage of life. Is it possible to restore the magical physical connection that they once felt? Esther guides them through somatic exercises to re-establish trust, discover pleasure, and help them move together from their minds into their bodies. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is just one moment in someone’s journey. So even though the sessions are anonymous, please remember that real people are behind them and they may be reading your comments. Also, please join me on Entre Nous, my new home on Substack for anyone who wants to live, love, and work with more connection and imagination. I invite you to sign up and become a free or paid member at estherperel.substack.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	None of the voices in this series are ongoing patients of Esther Perel.
0:05.0	Each episode of Where Should We Begin is a one-time counseling session.
0:10.0	For the purposes of maintaining confidentiality,
0:13.0	names and some identifiable characteristics have been removed,
0:17.0	but their voices and their stories are real.
0:27.6	Support for Where Should We Begin comes from OLLI.
0:33.1	It's tempting to feel that you need to improve yourself in the new year, but OLLI wants to offer you an alternative, reconnection, not reinvention.
0:40.5	They offer simple, science-backed supplements to support women's wellness. Ollie has you covered. If you're stepping into 2026 with presence,
0:47.1	not perfection, visit OLLY.com and explore their wellness lineup. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
0:57.3	This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
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1:36.2	We've really been having trouble connecting sexually.
1:40.9	It just ends in disaster basically,, like, anytime we try.
1:46.3	I wrote my book, Mating in Captivity,
1:50.0	because so often people would come to see me,
1:53.6	and their opening line would be,
1:55.6	we'd love each other very much, we have no sex.
1:59.7	And that begged the question, why does good intimacy so often fade in people
2:05.8	who continue to love each other as much as ever? This couple, these two women, they are
2:12.6	completely stuck in an erotic stalemales. The context of the moment is that one of them is eight months pregnant,
	...

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