I'm Richard Porter. I'm Johnny Smith.

And this is on the other side of things, the Smith and Sniff spin-off in which we answer your questions.

Once again, we answer questions from you, the listeners, and you know what?

I'm just going to get straight in there.

Oh, okay. Gosh, you really are a bold one today.

I'm all about buzziness.

Okay.

This is from a listener called Dale, who says,

Good evening, you pair of legendary flutes.

Legendary flutes, well.

I don't know what that they would look like, but...

He says he's got a question that came to him during dinner with his wife.

He said in a fit of midlife crisis, my wife decided some months ago to get her first tattoo.

This sounds very familiar to me.

And is why I now have a British Leyland logo on my arm in a roundabout sort of way.

Anyway, Dale says, cutting a very long story short, she decided she'd like a very subtle dandelion seed motif on her wrists and finally had it done by a friend. It's turned out very well. What a friend who could tattoo? Or just a friend? Yes, yes. Well, she actually says a friend who was just starting out as a tattoo artist, but it has turned out well, so that's nice.

It's subtle and has personal meaning, he says.

She quite enjoyed the experience and suggested she might get more tattoos, to which I suggested a sleeve akin to an arm like a Weatherspoon's carpet might not suit her.

And we shared a small chuckle, but this is where my brain got weird.

I'm sorry, an arm like a Wetherspoons carpet is an amazing expression.

That's a Morrissey lyric, surely.

It really is.

...