Oren Jay Sofer on Mindful Communication

The One You Feed | Personal Growth, Emotional Resilience & Purpose

Eric Zimmer, The One You Feed

Buddhism, Mental Health, Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Religion & Spirituality

4.5 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 3 April 2019

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Oren Jay Sofer leads retreats and workshops on mindful communication and meditation at retreat centers and educational facilities around the United States. He is the founder of Next Step Dharma and Mindful Healthcare and he holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University. In this episode, he and Eric discuss his new book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication. In it, you’ll learn an updated model on how to skillfully communicate – especially in difficult situations. Practical strategies and helpful perspectives are what you’ll get in this episode. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. In This Interview, Oren Jay Sofer and I Discuss… His book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication That we’re not stuck, our minds can learn and it depends on the choices we make moment to moment The three steps to create effective conversation Lead with Presence Come from Curiosity and Care Focus on What Matters How most people live with fragmented attention and it takes training to be fully present with another person That you can feel whether a person is fully present with you or not Bringing awareness and attention to the body to come into the present moment (the body is always in the present moment) Bodily sensations happen in the present moment The power of pausing How our rate of speech is connected to our nervous system That when we are present, we have a lot more choices That our intention shapes our verbal and non-verbal communications The intention to understand The intention of kindness and care How you can practice kindness to someone you don’t like Kindness can be about protecting your own heart The phrase “Let me see if I’ve got it…” Listening for what matters to the other person – what do they need? The difference between needs and strategies The Nonviolent Communication Model Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests Communicating in the workplace Oren Jay Sofer Links OrenJaySofer.com Facebook Twitter Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	A lot of our struggles, interpersonal and suffering, relationally in life is due to reacting to things that aren't actually there.
0:16.5	Welcome to the one you feed.
0:18.5	Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have, quotes like garbage in garbage out or you are what you think ring true.
0:28.5	And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self-pity, jealousy or fear.
0:37.5	We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit.
0:43.5	But it's not just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent and creative effort to make a life worth living.
0:51.5	This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction. How they feed their good wolf.
0:58.5	Hey, I've got some really exciting news. You can now listen to our entire Bat catalog completely add free exclusively on Stitcher Premium.
1:23.5	You can listen to literally every single of the 200 and I don't know how many 50 60 episodes we've ever done as well as many episodes on Stitcher Premium completely add free.
1:35.5	You can also listen to every new episode add free as well as tons of other add free Wondery shows.
1:42.5	Plus with Stitcher Premium you'll get access to hundreds of hours of original content, audio documentaries and exclusive bonus episodes from some of your other favorite podcasts.
1:53.5	You can sign up now for a free month of Stitcher Premium by going to Stitcher Premium dot com slash Wondery and using the promo code Wondery.
2:03.5	Thanks for joining us. Our guest on this episode is Orin J. Sofer who leads retreats and workshops on mindful communication and meditation at retreat centers and educational settings around the United States.
2:29.5	Orin holds a degree in comparative religion from Columbia University and is the founder of next step Dharma and mindful healthcare.
2:36.5	Today, Eric and Orin discuss his book, say what you mean, a mindful approach to nonviolent communication.
2:44.5	Hi, Orin. Welcome to the show. Thanks so much, Eric.
2:48.5	I'm happy to have you back on you and I first talked in a joint interview we did with you and Dan Harris.
2:55.5	It's been quite some time ago. So we've got you back to discuss your new book which is called Say What You Mean, a mindful approach to nonviolent communication.
3:05.5	And I'm looking forward to getting into that. I know lots of listeners. Well, I guess really everybody needs help in communicating better.
3:14.5	But I know this is an area of interest for our listeners. So we'll head there in a second. But let's start like we always do with the parable.
3:22.5	There is a grandfather who's talking with his granddaughter and he says in life, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle.
3:30.5	One is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery, love. And there's a bad wolf which represents things like greed and hatred and fear.
	...

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