Welcome to the Black Girl Burnout podcast, Kelly here.

And today I want to talk to you about how to opt out of obligation.

And we're going to talk about what obligation is as a concept, how that is different

from generosity. A previous episode I talked about opting into generosity. And then what areas of

your life can you begin to look at where you may be engaging in things because of obligation

versus generosity? So first things first,

what is an obligation or obligation? And to me, this is not going to be the dictionary

definition of what obligation is, but just kind of what I think about obligation to be, which is this forced feeling of having

to do something, whether it's engage with someone and spend time with them or do a task for somebody

or do a job. I mean, you can have all kinds of obligations. Obligations are, I think to myself,

the difference between the obligation to pay my bills versus the joy with which I will go and

buy myself a new perfume. And the difference is the feeling behind it. I am obligated to pay my bills.

It's not something I enjoy doing, but it's something I'm obligated to do because if I don't want

to be homeless and I want to have heat or air conditioning or whatever the thing is, I have to pay

for that. It's an obligation.

But the energy is very different than when I want to treat myself to like a perfume

or, you know, a piece of jewelry for me in my case, or I love travel or good food.

I don't feel obligated to pay my bill when I go to a great restaurant.

I am fine with that relationship because they gave me a

great meal and I'm paying my my bill for it happily. Something I'm choosing to do. An obligation

feels like something you're forced to do or you have to do. It's not up to me to decide if I want to

pay my rent. I have to pay my rent if I want to continue

...