Opt Into Getting Your Life Together—Gently
Black Girl Burnout
Kelley Bonner
4.7 • 762 Ratings
🗓️ 15 October 2025
⏱️ 29 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode of the Black Girl Burnout podcast, Kelley shares an honest check-in she calls The Getting My Life Together Toolkit. Instead of another rigid routine or “glow-up” plan, she offers the small, sustaining habits and mindset shifts that are actually helping her through life’s “life-ing.” From soft structure and nervous system routines to practical self-care rituals, Kelley invites you to build your own toolkit—one rooted in gentleness, intention, and capacity, not perfection.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Structure can be soft. Create routines that support you—not drain you—by honoring your real capacity, not your ambition.
- Habits can soothe your nervous system. Small grounding rituals like making your bed, dressing intentionally, and setting calm boundaries bring steadiness to your days.
- Dress for the energy you want. Even when working from home, wearing real clothes can signal self-respect and shift your mindset.
- Protect your peace before bed. Limiting dysregulating content at night helps your nervous system unwind and deepens rest.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS
- [00:00–03:00] A Real-Life Check-In: Kelley explains why she’s naming this season her “Getting My Life Together Toolkit” and shares what inspired it.
- [03:00–07:00] The Type A Recovery Plan: How she’s learning to make to-do lists that honor capacity rather than overachievement.
- [07:00–11:00] Nervous System Habits That Stick: From making her bed to red-light therapy, Kelley shares small routines that make her mornings calmer.
- [11:00–17:00] Dressing for Your Day: How shifting from hoodies to cozy two-piece sets has changed her energy and self-respect.
- [17:00–22:00] Protecting Peace at Night: Why she no longer watches intense or “dysregulating” shows after 7 p.m., and how it’s improving her sleep and calm.
- [22:00–28:00] Building Your Own Toolkit: Kelley invites listeners to reflect on what’s actually helping them through and share their own soft lock-in routines.
YOUR TURN
Take a few minutes today to build your own Getting My Life Together Toolkit.
Write down 3 small things—habits, tools, or mindset shifts—that help you feel more grounded or capable right now.
Then, share one of them with us on social media using #BlackGirlBurnout.
Your toolkit doesn’t have to be perfect—just supportive. That’s the real goal.
SUPPORT THE SHOW
Are you stepping into a “Summer of No”? Whether you’re canceling plans for rest, setting fresh boundaries, or saying no to what drains you, you don’t owe anyone guilt. Take a moment this week to capture what freedom looks like for you. Snap a pic or video of your joy and tag us:
📧 Subscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.com
📺 Watch the episode on YouTube
💌 Show some love—don’t let Kelley’s mama be the only one dropping hearts!
STAY IN TOUCH
Want more ways to connect with the Black Girl Burnout community?
- Join our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.
- Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources and tools to support your burnout-free life.
OUR SPONSORS
Check out Green Chef: https://greenchef.com/50BGB
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Black Girl Burnout podcast, Kelly here. And today is going to be an episode where I do an |
| 0:06.8 | honest chicken. I've been talking a lot and writing a lot on Substack about how to get through |
| 0:15.2 | tough times. I think that's like the theme of life right now. And if you're like me, there's just life is life in. |
| 0:23.4 | And there's just things you need to do to just put one foot in front of the other. |
| 0:28.4 | And this episode to me is that. |
| 0:31.5 | It's an honest check-in. |
| 0:32.7 | I am calling this episode unofficially the Getting my life together toolkit because if you're |
| 0:39.1 | anything like me, I'm obsessed with these roundup videos of people who share their inspirations, |
| 0:44.0 | their motivations, their morning routines, their exercise routines, whatever. |
| 0:47.6 | If there's a plan that I can copy or there's some good ideas floating around, I want them. |
| 0:53.2 | And I thought, well, Kelly, you could do this. You |
| 0:56.8 | have a podcast. Why don't you do this yourself? And so I made a list. I am on camera today. So |
| 1:02.2 | the struggle is real. Prayers up for me. But I have my list on my phone here. And I want to talk to you |
| 1:09.9 | about how I'm getting through. |
| 1:10.8 | And hopefully, this will be inspiration for you to make your own list, to think really consciously about what tools and things that you are doing, what habits, what products, whatever that is that's getting you through, what they are and making it formal, |
| 1:31.0 | like formalizing your toolkit. Because my life is not perfectly in order, but it's because |
| 1:38.3 | of the small things that I do every day, that it's definitely a lot more livable. And if you |
| 1:43.1 | have joined us on this soft lock-in season |
| 1:46.6 | where we are locking in, we are closing out the year with joy, with gratitude, with rest, |
| 1:53.1 | while getting our goals accomplished, these are a few of the things that I have been doing |
| 1:57.9 | that I've been helping me. So I'm going to give you a few of those things. |
| 2:01.9 | It's going to be a mix of tools and tips and habits and mindset work that I do, but all so |
... |
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