Open Your Heart and Loosen Up! Therapist Terry Real’s Advice for Fathers

Modern Love

The New York Times

Nytimes, Redemption, Society & Culture, New York Times, Love, Essay, Storytelling, Loss, Nyt

4.4 • 8.7K Ratings

🗓️ 11 June 2025

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

For Father’s Day, the Modern Love team asked for your stories about fatherhood and emotional vulnerability. We heard from listeners who told us that their dads rarely expressed their emotions, from listeners whose fathers wore their hearts on their sleeves and from fathers themselves who were trying to navigate parenting with emotional honesty and sensitivity. Your stories had one thing in common: even just a peek into your father’s emotional world meant so much. On this episode of Modern Love, we hear your stories about your dads. Then, Terry Real, a family therapist, returns to the show to offer his advice on being a father while also showing kids what it means to be emotionally vulnerable and available. He offers his philosophy around parenting through a combination of techniques. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Love now and more.
0:03.1	Love was stronger than anything.
0:06.8	For the love, love.
0:08.1	And I love you more than anything.
0:11.2	There's to love.
0:12.2	Love.
0:14.0	From the New York Times, I'm Anna Martin.
0:16.4	This is Modern Love.
0:18.7	What's up, New York Times?
0:20.5	Modern Love podcast. Hi, Modern Love Podcast. Hello. Hi, Modern Love. What's up, York Times? Modern Love podcast.
0:22.2	Hi, Modern Love Podcast.
0:23.8	Hello.
0:24.2	Hi, modern love.
0:25.2	For the past few weeks, we've been listening to all the stories you sent us about your
0:29.3	dads.
0:30.2	We wanted to know about the times your father opened up and showed you his emotions.
0:35.2	There is exactly one moment in my life when my father opened up to me.
0:39.4	My father's generation is one that doesn't express much.
0:42.9	And the only time we ever talk of love is at the end of a phone call, he'll say, like, love you.
0:49.1	I think he had a really hard time communicating what was going on inside of him.
0:55.7	So many of you told us your dad didn't open up very often.
1:00.2	These moments you shared, they were fleeting.
	...

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