Today's Hot Topic dives deep into the world of open relationships! We're joined by author and ghostwriter Emily Gindlesparger, who not only opened her own relationship years ago but discovered her own bisexuality throughout the process. Her new memoir, "Please Make Me Love Me", describes her journey from traditional, straight monogamist to becoming polyamorous with multiple serious girlfriends. Today she shares how she shed her jealousy once and for all, the impact an open relationship had on her primary partnership, the challenges of logistics, and her advice to couples interested in non-monogamy. Emily manages to answer a TON of questions thoughtfully and succinctly, so if you've ever been curious about exploring polyamory—or are just curious how others manage it!—this conversation is for you. More Emily: - The Book, "Please Make Me Love Me": https://amzn.to/3Zwrhfz - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilygindle - Website: https://www.emilygindlesparger.com Referenced Links And Books: More Than Two - https://www.morethantwo.com Esther Perel’s “The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity” - https://amzn.to/3SDhO43 Jessica Fern’s “Polysecure” - https://amzn.to/3ZuwKU5 Time Stamps: 0:00 - Welcome To Emily Gindlesparger! 1:47 - What Do People Most Commonly Ask When They Learn She’s Written A Memoir About Open Relationships And Discovering She’s Queer 3:27 - Was There A Moment Where She Went From Jealous To Non-Jealous 7:06 - Would She Say The More She Leaned Into What Was Making Her Jealous, The Less Jealous She Became 8:16 - Did Jealous Get Flipped On Its Head To Where She Found It Enjoyable 10:43 - What Made Her And Her Partner Decide To Disclose Everything To Each Other (Versus “I Don’t Want To Know”) 14:02 - Did They Ever Fight About This 15:06 - How Much Of Her Decision To Open The Relationship Stemmed From A Desire To Live Life To The Fullest Versus Wanting To Explore Her Sexuality 19:42 - What Does She Think Is The Most Common Misconception About Open Relationships 22:41 - Is It Worth Bringing Up That You Want An Open Relationship If You Know Your Partner Is Deeply Monogamous 24:33 - Does She Believe One-Way Open Relationships Can Work 26:59 - What Advice Would She Give To Someone Whose Partner Wants To Open The Relationship 28:27 - Would She Have Ever Opened Her Relationship Had She Been In A Different Community 30:47 - Is A “Logistical Toll” Part And Parcel With Maintaining Open Relationships 33:06 - What’s Easier: Monogamy Or Polyamory 34:54 - Let’s Say A Couple Wants To Open Things Up—Where To Start 39:43 - When Did She Realize She Wasn’t 100% Straight 43:31 - What Advice Would She Give Her Younger Self On The Topic Of Her Sexuality 45:31 - Does She Consider It A Shame To *Not* Explore One’s Bisexuality 48:32 - Would She And Her Partner Even Open Things Up Again 51:17 - Did She Tell Her Family And If So, Why 54:41 - What Self Work Does She Recommend For Those Contemplating Opening Their Relationship 58:05 - Shandy Debrief If you have a relationship question, write us at: [email protected] Support Dear Shandy: https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy More Dear Shandy Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy Facebook - https://fb.me/dearshandy More Sharleen Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com More Andy Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices