Wet Park.

Boy, is it hot out there, but do we have the solution for you?

Come on down to Wet Park.

Come on down to Wet Park, the park where you can technically experience recreational water.

That's right, you heard right.

When we've got so much real water here, we can just throw it away.

Let yourself at Wet Park.

And that's not all.

Thought the beloved cultural institution of the water slide was lost to history?

Think again.

Thanks to the H2ologist here at Wet Park,

our synthetic topical water substitute is exactly what you need to experience

the feeling of being wet while also having fun.

Take it away, scientists.

Well, given recent discoveries that even a small quantity of seawater can cause saltwater madness,

it would be completely unethical to use that. So instead, we've developed a composite of cooking

oil, corn milk, and we've also managed to discover that if you supply industrial levels of

pressure, it is actually possible to squeeze a small amount of blood from a stone.

And we use some sea water, too.

And some seawater, yes.

But wait, there's more.

You can experience real water at our daily recreational water show, which, oh my goodness, it looks like they're starting the show right now.

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