This is a test of the emergency broadcast system.

In the event of a real emergency, you would be instructed to remain indoors,

secure all entry points, and avoid all windows.

This is only a test.

However, listeners are encouraged to familiarize themselves with these procedures.

Close your curtains.

Ensure doors are locked.

Reduce visibility from outside.

Blankets, sheets, and even tinfoil can be used to cover any windows.

This includes peep holes and, and in the event of older houses, keyholes.

If you are currently near a window, step away slowly and move to an interior room.

There is no cause for alarm at this time. Again, this is only a test.

Please continue avoiding all windows until the test concludes and the warning tone ends.

If you are unable to hear the tone currently sounding under this warning,

please await further instructions.

If you have heard this warning previously, or you believe that you have heard this warning

previously, please await further instructions. If these instructions come from any voice

other than the one you are currently hearing, please reach out to emergency

response teams that are slowly driving through your neighborhood. These vehicles will not stop,

however, they will note any erratic behavior such as the flailing of limbs or the excessive oration

of foul language as a sign of stress and outside influence.

Such instances will be handled in the order they are perceived.

...