One-Star Theme Park Reviews with "Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet"
For Your Amusement: A Theme Park Podcast
PodcastOne
4.9 • 990 Ratings
🗓️ 24 February 2026
⏱️ 100 minutes
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Summary
The Guys are joined by Christine and Xandy Schiefer ("Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet"), to read hilarious theme park and attraction reviews!
Catch more of Xandy and Christine on their Podcast "Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet"!
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CREATED & HOSTED BY
Ryan Bergara & Byron Marin
EDITOR
Byron Marin
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS
Ryan Bergara
Byron Marin
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Okay, welcome to For Your Amusement, a theme park podcast that aims to exhaustively evaluate the world's most popular theme park attractions to determine if they are world class. |
| 0:14.6 | I'm Ryan Bergara. I'm Byron. And for to, oh, sorry, he's going through the doggy door. |
| 0:21.6 | God damn it, Vinnie. Smart puppy. And for... Oh, sorry, he's going through the doggie door. God damn it, Vinny. |
| 0:23.0 | Smart puffy. |
| 0:24.4 | And for today's episode, we're going to be doing something a little bit different. |
| 0:27.9 | For the first time, we'll be reading the funniest theme park reviews we could find on Yelp |
| 0:32.9 | and other corners of the interwebs from entire parks to reviews for singular rides because unbeknownst to |
| 0:39.9 | me, people actually leave reviews for attractions like Pirates of the Caribbean or something |
| 0:45.1 | like that and they hop on Yelp to share their thoughts. This is obviously not news to the two |
| 0:50.7 | folks who are joining us right now and who is joining us. Joining us in this journalistic endeavor is none other than the two folks who know a little something about reading reviews on the internet because it's the format for their podcast and we're very happy to have them here with us today. Please welcome Christine and Zandi Schiefer. Hey. Hello. Happy to be here. Very excited. Wow. I'm excited. We have a lot of thoughts on a lot of things. Good to see you guys. |
| 1:11.9 | And I don't think we could have asked for better timing regarding this episode because as I recall, |
| 1:16.8 | one of you at the very least may be making a trip to Walt Disney World in the near future. |
| 1:22.0 | You know, the rumors are true. I'm heading down there in March for the first time since I was four, and I'm bringing my four-year-old daughter. So it will be an experience for me. I don't really know what to expect because I'm not in this world. Yes. And I think it's important to say that I'm not invited. Oh, right. That's also important to add. Oh, I didn't realize that was a purposeful decision. Oh, yeah. |
| 1:44.8 | It was an exclusion. |
| 1:46.1 | Yeah, it's usually intentional. |
| 1:47.4 | Yeah. |
| 1:47.7 | Do you mind if I get a little more comfortable, quick? |
| 1:50.3 | What? |
| 1:50.5 | What's happening? |
| 1:52.5 | Is he going to hop into like a nightgown or something? |
| 1:54.9 | I don't, I really hope for it. |
| 1:56.8 | I could go grab mine. |
... |
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