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The Virtual Couch

On the Other Side of the Couch: What I Learned Losing My Mom

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9668 Ratings

🗓️ 23 September 2025

⏱️ 60 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What happens when the person who usually has the answers finds himself sitting in the unknown? In this deeply personal episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Tony Overbay shares his raw, honest experience of losing his mother - not as a clinician offering guidance, but as a son navigating grief for the first time. Tony opens with a touching story about his mom's lifelong belief that he was a "real doctor," leading to an unexpectedly profound moment in the ICU. He then sits down with Q&A Files co-host Trisha Jamison for an unfiltered conversation about what it's really like when the helper becomes the one who needs help. This isn't a clinical discussion about the stages of grief - it's a human exploration of sitting bedside for four days, the humor that emerges in dark moments, the spiritual experiences you hope for but might not get, and why "let me know if you need anything" might not be as helpful as we think. Whether you're processing your own loss, supporting someone who is, or simply curious about what happens when life flips the script on a mental health professional, this conversation offers something real. It's messy, it's honest, and it's ultimately about being human enough to sit with the questions when you don't have all the answers. Topics covered: Grief processing, end-of-life care, family dynamics, therapeutic insights, humor as coping mechanism, supporting others in loss, acceptance and commitment therapy in practice. Content note: This episode contains frank discussions about death, dying, and the physical aspects of end-of-life care. 00:00 Introduction and Announcements 02:25 Personal Loss: The Passing of My Mom 03:44 Understanding the Role of a Therapist 06:05 A Story of Misunderstanding: My Mom Thought I Was a Doctor 15:10 A Therapist's Perspective on Grief 17:58 Conversation with Tricia Jameson: Grief and Grace 34:30 Exploring the Nature of Memory 35:54 Humor as a Coping Mechanism 38:59 Seeking Spiritual Experiences 42:07 Navigating Grief and Loss 48:26 Reflecting on Personal Growth 52:01 Supporting Others Through Grief 58:49 Concluding Thoughts and Farewell Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the virtual couch. Please take a seat for pillars, emotional maturity, and your self-worth

0:09.8

run so deep. You are not broken. You're a human. So check that out. You don't know. What you don't know

0:19.6

is what it's all about.

0:22.6

Hey, everybody. Welcome to what I think is going to be a very, very special episode of The Virtual Couch Presents.

0:27.6

And most likely you'll hear this one on both or either, the virtual couch as well as waking up to narcissism.

0:33.6

So before I get to that, I will make the business items, hopefully brief. Follow me on Instagram at virtual.couch on TikTok at virtual couch and sign up for my newsletter at Tonyoverbay.com. I want your questions. I want your feedback. And I may have some space for a client or two here and there. So if you think you would work well with me, email me why you think so and what's

0:54.6

going on in your life. And if you're a guy struggling with turning to a particular coping mechanism

0:58.9

that apparently I need to refer to as struggling to stop looking at corn, as in cornography,

1:05.7

my Pathback Recovery program is wonderful. It's amazing. So I would recommend that you check it out at

1:11.1

PathbackRecovery.com and email me. I will give you a discount code and then my men's emotional

1:17.4

architects group is ready for action. I have a private women's Facebook group for women in

1:21.1

or navigating relationships with emotionally immature or narcissistic. Fill in the blank.

1:26.7

Spouse, parent, sibling spouse parent sibling boss pet insert cat

1:29.5

joke there but reach out and look for a link in the show notes if you want to come on a cruise

1:34.4

in January with myself and my good friend julie de Jesus formerly known as Julie Lee as we set sail out

1:40.7

of Galveston and it is going to be an amazing cruise focused on living an incredible

1:46.7

life. We'll talk about all kinds of things, mental health, not in an awkward way with workshops and

1:51.8

come eat dinner with me, stop by, or stop me at any time that you see me and ask me all of your

1:58.3

questions about everything, marriage and family and parenting and ADHD

2:04.7

and emotional maturity, all of it. But just come with a soft serve cone in hand. But we would love

2:11.1

to have you join us. And so let's get to today's show. And please understand that I am here to share

2:16.9

and possibly entertain a little bit,

...

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