On Love: What Recovery Taught Me

On The Mend

High Performance

Trauma, Vulnerability, Hope, Healing, Health & Fitness, Education, Menshealth, Sobriety, Personal Journals, Redemption, Society & Culture, Recovery, Growth, Addiction, Identity, Mental Health, Mentalhealth, Resilience, Self-improvement, Relapse, Alcoholism

4.9 • 566 Ratings

🗓️ 21 August 2024

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week, Matt is opening up about a topic that makes many of us uncomfortable… love!
Matt and his wife, broadcaster Emma Willis, have been going strong for 20 years. They’ve been through high, lows and all sorts of addiction-related battles. If anything, they’ve come out of the other side stronger.
Since Matt and Emma began hosting the UK Series of Love Is Blind, the pair have been asked the same question by countless people: what’s the secret to their happy marriage?
If you want the honest, raw answer, then listen up. Matt has thought long and hard about this, and today he’s sharing his secret to a long-lasting, successful relationship. He’s also stepping out of his comfort zone to shed truth on the long, often tricky, journey he’s been on to learn to love himself.
Love Is Blind UK is out now on Netflix.
If you’ve been watching already, let Matt know if you’re enjoying!
(0:00) Intro
(0:16) Daily gratitude
(3:16) Using Journal app to document growth
(4:03) Struggling with daily affirmations
(5:00) Talking about love
(5:43) Matt never believed in love as a kid
(6:53) What’s the secret to Matt and Emma’s relationship?
(7:54) What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger
(8:29) The people you love will change
(9:55) Relationships are not 50:50
(11:13) You can’t love while you’re dealing with addiction
(12:20) The route of a strong relationship is honesty
(17:13) Relationships are never perfect
(17:39) Learning to love yourself
(19:38) Treat yourself how you treat others
(20:15) How therapy has unlocked self-love
(24:02) Being at peace with your past self
(25:23) Reacting to triggers
(25:56) Lessons from elderly people (what’s important about life?)
(27:08) Lessons from Johann Hari (the opposite of addiction is connection)
(29:00) How does Matt feel today?
(29:23) Outro
Related links:
Johann Hari’s Ted Talk: Everything You Know About Addiction Is Wrong Chasing The Scream by Johann Hari

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Want to know who's coming up next?
0:01.7	Hit follow wherever you get your podcast and you'll be the first to find out.
0:09.2	Hello everybody and welcome back to On the Mend.
0:11.7	My name is Matt Willis and this is a solo episode.
0:14.4	So this is me chatting about something which has either been bought up by you guys
0:17.8	or something which I thought we should talk about.
0:20.4	Now we've been starting these episodes with a gratitude list, which is something which
0:24.0	I've talked about lots, and I think it's really important to me.
0:27.3	So, and I really loved hearing back from you guys.
0:30.2	Like in an episode a couple of weeks ago, we kind of, I said, has anyone been doing this
0:35.2	and getting anything from it?
0:36.3	And I loved hearing your responses.
0:37.9	A lot of people have picked this up.
0:39.7	And I'm really pleased that you've got something out of it because I love it.
0:44.9	You know, it's become part of my kind of daily routine.
0:48.6	I've already done one today.
0:50.0	I did one this morning when I got out of the ice bath.
0:53.0	And do you know what?
0:54.0	I've just got a new ice bath and I made a bit of an error this morning. Because I've been having my ice bath at about six degrees, between six and three. You know, and I haven't been in it for a while. I've been in Ibiza for a month, which has been epic. I've been really chill. It's been fantastic, but I haven't been
1:11.5	there for a month. So before I got home, I set it to one degree because it can go down to zero. So I thought, right, I'm going to get home. I'm going to really get on it. Put it down to one degree. And I thought, right, I'll do three minutes in it this morning at one degree. And I got in it. and after after a minute I felt like my body was going to
1:29.6	give up so I got out and literally everything hurt it was the opposite response to I normally
1:35.7	I normally get out and feel incredible I felt like I was you know like everything in my body
	...

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