On how to feel less fearful of loss

The Therapy Edit

Anna Mathur

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 915 Ratings

🗓️ 26 August 2024

⏱️ 13 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this, the ninth of a special ten part series of The Therapy Edit, Anna talks through the second to last of The Uncomfortable Truths; I will lose people I love.

The Uncomfortable Truth: Change Your Life By Taming 10 of Your Mind's Greatest Fears is Anna's 5th book was published on the 8th August.
Order your copy here

Here's a teaser from Anna about what to expect in this long-awaited, transformative book.

‘Some people don’t like me”
“Bad things will happen to people I love”
“I’m going to fail”
… these words underpinned my anxieties and nightmares. I bet they feature in yours too.

Our fears are anchored in the unavoidable truths of life; all things reach an end, bad things happen, and we lack the control we crave.

As an experienced psychotherapist, who’s had years of therapy, I realised that ploughing endless energy into trying to control the uncontrollable is keeping us all tired, wired, and worried. Ignoring fears doesn’t make them less true, it makes them more powerful. I decided to try a different tact and it changed my world.

Instead of doing everything I could to ease and avoid life’s uncomfortable truths, I sought a deeper acceptance of them. Through using this approach, my clients and I discovered that fear began to loosen its grip. We were living more intentionally and peacefully.

So, face your fears one a chapter at a time, and discover who you are without worry, doubt and people-pleasing holding you back.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This podcast is sponsored by Booper Dental Care, where you'll find a calm welcoming atmosphere with
0:06.8	unrushed appointments and clear communication.
0:09.3	Hello and welcome to the therapy edit podcast with me psych therapist Anna Martha.
0:17.0	I'll be bringing you weekly 10 minute episodes to encourage and support your
0:22.2	emotional well-being.
0:24.0	Hi everyone, I hope you're okay today as you listen to this episode.
0:31.0	All about feeling less fearful of loss. Now this is episode nine of my
0:36.7	10 part mini series all based around my book The Uncomfortable Truth and it's all about
0:42.1	living more wholeheartedly and fully in spite of these
0:46.3	truths of life that make us feel so deeply uncomfortable and this is a big one I
0:51.1	know I promise you we're going to go really gently on this now as someone who has been through,
0:59.6	who's lost someone at a young age, I lost my sister when I was a child to cancer.
1:05.8	This is a very poignant one for me and the fear of loss has been really, has had a big place in my life. I yeah just it has fed and fueled anxiety and worry and fear and it's had me not being able to enjoy sometimes the people in my life that are there and very present and very much alive because I'm just scared of leading them. So how do we become more
1:37.1	comfortable or more accepting? I think it's the word of this really uncomfortable truth and I'm going to share some tips with you but I just want you to think like how
1:46.8	differently would you feel if you did feel somehow more accepting of this truth and less
1:52.3	fearful how much does the fear of loss feature in your life, in your mind, in your thoughts, in your dreams, in your anxieties, what would it feel like to have a greater acceptance
2:07.1	so that it just sits differently in you.
2:11.2	So I'm going to share a little excerpt of the book The Uncomfortable Truth and then I'm going to share a tip or two on how to get a bit more comfortable with that.
2:19.0	Now you know when I wrote the book, this massive uncomfortable truth of I will lose people I love
2:26.2	which is what the chapter is called it was right the beginning of the book I
2:29.1	think it was chapter two and on reflection I actually moved it all the way to the end of the book because I realized this is such a hard hitter
2:37.0	And I really wanted you to feel like you could trust that I would approach it really gently and that I would give you a boatload of hope and that it wouldn't feel dark and scary that actually it would feel, yeah, it would feel anxiety relieving actually in the opposite way and it would feel comforting and it would kind of open up new ways to feel around loss.
	...

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