whenever people want to so supposedly engage with me, what they really want to do is share their pet perspective and tell me that I'm wrong.

That's actually not engagement so feel free to tell me that I'm wrong, but you're not really looking for a conversation you're looking for affirmation of your point of view and acknowledgement and.

I don't think actually I know it's not my job to do that for you you have to figure that out on your own.

And so I'd you know it's the internet is a mess.

I'm John Fabro welcome to offline.

Hey everyone my guest this week is Roxanne Gay a New York Times bestselling author writer professor and social commentator who's been especially vocal about the topic of this series.

A while back Roxanne wrote a Times piece titled why people are so awful online.

I've always been a fan of Roxanne's writing, but this piece caught my attention for obvious reasons and I thought that one part in particular was especially sharp and worth talking more about.

Quote lately I've been thinking that what drives so much of the anger and antagonism online is our helplessness offline.

Online we want to be good to do good, but despite these lofty moral aspirations, there is little generosity or patience let alone human kindness.

There is a desperate yearning for emotional safety.

There is a desperate hope that if we all become perfect enough and demand the same perfection from others, there will be no more harm or suffering.

It is infuriating.

It is also entirely understandable.

Someday as I am reading the news, I feel as if I am drowning. I think most of us do.

At least online we can use our voices and know they can be heard by someone.

End quote.

Roxanne is someone who has certainly used her voice online to great effect.

She currently has nearly 900,000 followers on Twitter.

She's been in her share of arguments and debates, but as a queer black woman, she's also endured more than her share of online harassment from all kinds of choices.

She's been trying to spend less time on Twitter and more time writing and living life.

I caught up with her about how that's going.

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