NXIVM Aftermath - Jessica Joan Returns: "Not My Monkey, Not My Circus"
Was I in a Cult?
Liz Iacuzzi
4.5 • 3.5K Ratings
🗓️ 5 January 2026
⏱️ 42 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Four years after we first met her in our studio - just days after her victim impact statement in Alison Mack's NXIVM trial - Jessica Joan is back.
Since we last spoke, Jessica shared her story on the Hulu docuseries "How I Escaped My Cult", and a lot has shifted: in her healing, in what "justice" means, and in what accountability actually looks like over time.
This follow-up conversation was prompted by our recent interview with journalist Natalie Robehmed, host of the podcast "Alison After NXIVM", where listeners hear Alison speak publicly about NXIVM and her life post-prison. After that episode, it felt important to come back to Jessica - to hear directly from someone harmed by Alison, and to explore the messy questions of empathy, forgiveness, and what we're really asking for when we say we want "accountability."
FOLLOW US
For more culty content - follow us on Instagram & TikTok → @wasiinacult
FIND JESSICA
Get your copy of The Untouchable: Jessica Joan & the Downfall of NXIVM
Check out her new website: www.thisisjessicajoan.com
Instagram/TikTok: @thesirenandthesunflower
SUPPORT THE SHOW
If you believe in what we're doing - shining a light on manipulation, coercive control, and cultic abuse - please rate, review, and share the podcast.
Want even more?
Join us on Patreon for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and behind-the-scenes conversations.
HAVE A CULTY STORY TO SHARE?
If you've been part of a cult - we want to hear from you.
Email us → info@wasiinacult.com
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | The views, information, or opinions expressed by the guest appearing in this episode solely |
| 0:04.4 | belong to the guest and do not represent or reflect the views or positions of the hosts, |
| 0:09.4 | the show, podcast one, this network, or any of their respective affiliates. |
| 0:15.4 | I would have to go to work and then I would cry in the bathroom and I couldn't sleep. |
| 0:20.5 | The insomnia was so rough. |
| 0:22.1 | I'm on my knees crying, praying to God. |
| 0:25.3 | Just like, why? |
| 0:26.1 | Like, take me now. |
| 0:27.6 | I'm fucking over it. |
| 0:29.2 | This is too much. |
| 0:30.7 | I don't want to do this anymore. |
| 0:32.1 | I really just wanted to not exist. |
| 0:34.7 | It was just unbearable. |
| 0:46.5 | Music not exist. It was just unbearable. Hey everyone. Happy New Year. It is Liz Iakousy. And welcome back to was I in a cult? |
| 0:54.5 | Sadly, Tyler has some personal stuff going on right now and won't be able to join us today, |
| 0:58.8 | so it's just me. |
| 1:00.7 | Today's episode is a follow-up conversation with one of our very first guests we ever had on this show, |
| 1:07.2 | Jessica Joan. |
| 1:09.0 | Now, Jessica was part of Keith Reneerer's nexium cult and later became a key |
| 1:14.0 | whistleblower working with the FBI to help take him down. Now, long-time listeners will |
| 1:20.3 | remember her from our first season. She had just given her victim impact statement in |
| 1:25.8 | Allison Mack's trial, literally days before coming into |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Liz Iacuzzi, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Liz Iacuzzi and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.