Numb to desire, dating fast-track, and finding joy in painful martial embrace | ACW356
Ask Christopher West
Theology of the Body Institute
4.9 • 549 Ratings
🗓️ 27 October 2025
⏱️ 47 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Questions answered this episode:
- I don't think I have numbed myself or shut down my desires, but I think I may have never learned how to be in touch with them. I don't ever feel aroused or even really desirous of anything. I thought it was because I was blessed with purity, chastity, and temperance, but I'm wondering if I'm actually lacking something or disordered because I don't feel like there's anything that I'm channeling or putting into right order. I'm just existing in what seems like a non-problematic way, but I'm not sure.
- My girlfriend and I are involved in Catholic ministry work, and we've been friends for over 7 years. We've been dating for just over a month, but we know each other very well. I feel like we could move forward faster than a typical timeline, but I'm not sure if I can trust that instinct. Do you have any suggestions about how we can prudently move forward?
- I am a Catholic wife in my late twenties with one toddler son and one on the way. We've been married for 3.5 years, and sex has never been easy for me. I've tried seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist, but every embrace remained painful, even more so after I was diagnosed with PCOS and endometriosis. I'm wondering how I can reframe my thinking so I don't try to avoid marital relations or resent God for giving me this cross and making it difficult to connect with my husband physically. We do have great intimacy via communication and conversation, but sometimes it's not enough. We crave the physical connection, yet I always end up sad after the embrace because it is so painful.
Resources:
Sexual Integration & Redemption Course
Are you ready for marriage? Check out Next Step: A Course for Discerning Marriage
Restorative Reproductive Medicine
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | From the Theology of the Body Institute, this is the Ask Christopher West podcast. |
| 0:14.8 | Hi, podcast listeners. Welcome everybody to another episode of ACW as Christopher West hosted by |
| 0:27.2 | Wendy West. Here I am. |
| 0:29.0 | Happy to be with you, Wendy. |
| 0:30.2 | Thanks. |
| 0:30.6 | Happy to be with you, Christopher. |
| 0:31.8 | Happy to be with all of our listeners around the world. |
| 0:35.1 | Yes, it is a joy. |
| 0:36.4 | Thank you so much for listening. We have had it on our |
| 0:41.2 | hearts recently that some people really don't even know who Pope John Paul II is. You know what? |
| 0:47.8 | Where I sit when we're recording our podcast, there's this beautiful picture of Pope John Paul II that I'm looking at every time |
| 0:57.9 | we're recording. And it's just on your wall. It's so powerful. I think it was taken from |
| 1:05.4 | maybe Life magazine when they did an article. No, it was a Time magazine. Okay, when they did a whole issue |
| 1:12.2 | or, you know, that was the man of the year in 1995, the year we got married. Yeah, wow, so |
| 1:18.0 | beautiful. And I'm always aware of his intercession for us and how meaningful he is. But I'm also |
| 1:25.3 | becoming more and more aware that a lot of our listeners don't even |
| 1:28.6 | know Pope John Paul II. Yeah, people in their 20s and younger. He's just this historical figure. |
| 1:35.0 | They may not have even heard of him. And yes, we found this out. Like, students who are coming to our |
| 1:40.3 | courses, some of the younger generation don't know anything about them. And I kind of |
| 1:45.5 | take that for granted. This is the pope of our, the first quarter century of our existence. |
| 1:52.8 | I mean, for us. For us. I was, what, I was nine years old when he was elected. You were six. |
| 2:00.6 | So we've, we've known him our whole lives. He's just such a staple. |
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