Now Is the Time To Escape Your Bad Relationship. Here's How.

How To! with Mike Pesca

Peach Fish Projects

How To, Education

4.3 • 2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 May 2021

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dating is always tough, but during a pandemic it can feel downright impossible. "I'm incredibly lonely, and it's impossible to meet anybody my age right now," our listener Sarah said. Feeling isolated, Sarah has clung to a friends-with-benefit situation with Matthew, her friend and dance partner. But at 36, Sarah knows the relationship isn't meant to last. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Logan Ury, director of relationship science at Hinge, dating coach, and author of How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love, to help Sarah break up with Matthew and move on. And moving on, Logan says, doesn't necessarily mean just dating. What Sarah might really be missing is a community—and so she ought to search for not only a romantic partner but also friends who function as "other significant others."

If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Find Your First Kiss at 38."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi everyone, I'm Susie Weiss, and I've noticed there's just simply not enough podcasts in the world. So I'm launching my own. Let's go. Let's go, baby. Second Thought is a weekly show about pop culture. The stuff everyone's been binging, arguing about, obsessing over. Here's the thing about heated rivalry. I mean, even the most devoted swifties, I think we can agree, not our best work. We'll be hosting thoughtful conversations with culture's most important figures. Talk about genius.
0:22.6	Talk about generational talent.
0:23.7	Coming to headphones near you on can agree not our best work. We'll be hosting thoughtful conversations with culture's most important figures.
0:21.8	Talk about genius.
0:22.6	Talk about generational talent.
0:23.7	Coming to headphones near you on April 17th with a first guest you won't want to miss.
0:27.8	Available wherever you get your podcasts.
0:30.0	One of the reasons why you're worried is because you feel like if we're not sleeping together,
0:36.2	we probably won't be spending as much time together.
0:39.7	Is that right?
0:41.4	Yeah. And I'm scared. I'm never going to find another friendship that makes me so happy.
0:47.8	Welcome to how to. I'm Charles Duhigg.
0:51.3	David Epstein is on a well-deserved vacation this week, and so I'm here to explore a
0:55.7	tough question, one that a number of you might be dealing with now that the world is reopening.
1:01.7	What do we do with the intense relationships that we developed during the pandemic?
1:06.6	The thing is, breaking up can be really hard, especially if it's someone you just spent the last
1:11.8	year quarantining with. That goes for serious relationships, but also, you know, friends with
1:16.8	benefits, situations where you might be sleeping together, no strings attached. And this might
1:22.0	be a good moment to mention, if you're listening to this with kids, you might want to hit
1:25.9	pause and wait until you're home alone.
1:28.4	The situation that this week's listener is dealing with is a situation just like that.
1:32.6	She's been casually sleeping with a guy for about a year.
	...

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