Not Everything Needs to Be A Thing: Discerning Between Tension & a True Issue in Marriage: Episode 330
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman
5.0 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 13 February 2024
⏱️ 31 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The scenario is that your partner makes a comment, you sense they are a little irritated. They may very well have a frustration but have expressed it with a mild (level 2) upset. Yet you are not in a conflict or argument. But as you talk back and forth, you start giving explanations and justifications and an early onset of defensiveness starts to create a divide. This is a critical moment where you could even say to each other "this doesn't have to become a thing …"
Often these moments are not handled properly and now it does turn into something. You have this energy between you and your partner that for many can cause you to go do your own separate things and even have you ruin/cancel plans you had together for the evening. We have heard this happens for date nights, and even Valentine's Day plans, which happens to be tomorrow from when this podcast came out.
This episode is about how to discern between tension and a true issue in marriage with 5 actions to take to "bounce back" faster.
Resources:
Join the "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Feb 14th, 2024 for Valentines Day - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.
Find all our other guides and resources here on our website resources page
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to the Empower Couples podcast. |
| 0:02.8 | We're here you get modern, non-boring relationship advice for you and your partner to communicate |
| 0:08.2 | like pros, fight smarter, and stay on the same team no matter the challenge that you face. |
| 0:13.1 | I am one of your hosts, Erin Freeman. |
| 0:14.8 | And I'm Jocelyn Freeman, but you all just know us as the Freeman's. |
| 0:17.6 | And this episode is titled, Not Everything Needs to Be a Thing, Discerning Between Tension |
| 0:22.7 | and a True Issue in Marriage. |
| 0:24.7 | We laughed when we really came up with this title because it's so true, right? |
| 0:29.0 | Not everything needs to become a thing. |
| 0:32.2 | And when we say a thing, we mean become a conflict, become an issue. |
| 0:37.3 | And in the episode, we're going to help you |
| 0:39.3 | discern between the two and actually describe what is happening when you are feeling that tension. |
| 0:47.1 | Because I think about this, you know, we were going to a coffee shop to do some work this morning. |
| 0:51.4 | And we were feeling some tension. I'll be honest. We were starting to feel |
| 0:56.0 | like if we keep going down this track, it could become a thing. But what was actually happening |
| 1:02.2 | wasn't a true issue. And we'll describe why that is and how we were able to discern that. |
| 1:08.8 | But when we want to be married a long time, |
| 1:11.7 | which we're 10 years into this just about, |
| 1:14.6 | and we plan to go decades more, |
| 1:16.5 | we're gonna have to navigate moments |
| 1:19.5 | where it can feel tense, |
| 1:22.0 | but it doesn't need to derail our day |
... |
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