Hello, gentle listener, and welcome to nocturnal transmissions, the fortnightly podcast that brings you dark tales both old and new, performed by your humble narrator, Kristen Holland.

Before we slide into the murky depths of this episode's featured literary abomination,

nocturnal transmissions has an announcement

just for our non-patri-on-subscribed friends of the podcast.

I'm afraid our Patreon patrons found out about this quite some time ago,

but we're going to bring you up to

speed, as it were.

The Nocturnal Transmissions Podcast now has a merchandise store.

Yes, gentle listener, you are now able to adorn yourself in nocturnal transmissions

apparel and surround yourself with all manner of tat. If you desire a nocturnal transmissions

t-shirt or hoodie, a sticker or wall clock, drink bottle or shower curtain for goodness sake, it's all available in our Red Bubble store.

Just type red bubble.com into your browser or click on the merchandise link on our website's

home page, nocturnal transmissions.com.com.A.U. And start shopping. However, as I mentioned to our beloved patrons last year, please don't make purchases as a way of supporting the show.

Almost all of the proceeds go to the sinister red bubble empire.

This merch store is merely a means of generating fun, not cash. Make your purchases

wisely. But, as with everything in life, not too wisely.

Speaking of wisdom, these wise people have recently joined the ranks of our Patreon subscribers

and now have access to all of our subscriber exclusive stories.

These new acolytes are

69 underscore beans.

Hello 69 Beans.

Cody Douglas.

...