Hello, gentle listener, and welcome to Nocturnal Transmissions, the fortnightly podcast that brings you dark tales both old and new, performed by your humble narrator, Kristen Holland.

Did you know that Rupert Holmes had originally written the chorus of his 1979 smash hit

tune, Escape the Pena Calada song, to begin with the line, if you like, Humphrey Bogart, and getting caught in the rain.

And, gentle listener, he had never tasted a pinia calada in his life up to that point in time.

Well, happily for bartenders at all manner of holiday destinations around the world,

he changed his mind about the lyrics, and the greatest uncommissioned advertisement for a cocktail in the history of popular music was born.

And that brings us to our featured story presentation,

gentle listener.

Nocturnal transmissions is proud to present.

D.H. Parishes.

Getting caught in the rain. I was sipping the gin and tonic I'd be nursing for the past half hour while keeping an eye on the clock above the bar.

Almost nine on a Saturday. I'd gotten here early and taken a seat where I could see every customer who shuffled in.

That way I wouldn't miss her, and I would see her

before she saw me. If she weren't to my liking, or if something seemed off, I could leave

without anyone the wiser. Looks aren't everything. If they were, I wouldn't be here in the first

place planning to meet this woman, but... Aren't nothing.

Omallies was still on the empty side.

It didn't tend to get busy until later in the evening,

or at least it didn't back in the days when I was a more frequent visitor here,

back when I wore a younger man's clothes.

That was before I met.

Sharon.

...