Attention all passengers.

The Uber ride for Mark and Jamal's romantic weekend

will depart in four minutes from Platform 6.

Your ride comes with a rolling countryside sunset view

and a table seat, ideal for playing footsie beneath.

Thank you for booking your tickets on Uber. Trains on Uber.

I'll now hand you over to my best man, Eddie.

Wow, wow, wow. Second time's a charm, eh, Billy Boy.

Oh God.

Substitution courtesy of Paddy Power embarrassing Eddie makes way for Sensible Samuel. Cool, that was close. You might not always pick Paddy Power, embarrassing Eddie, makes way for sensible Samuel.

Cool, that was close.

You might not always pick the right starter, but your sub can still deliver.

Because with Paddy's Super Sub, your bet rolls over to the player coming on.

Paddy Power.

Valid on selected leagues and markets only.

Pre-match and in-play bets on qualifying player outcome selections only.

T's and Cs and exclusions apply.

18 plus scum. Dot-org. Welcome to the NoSpin News Weekend Edition.

Let's begin with Iran.

So once again, the talks are off, they're on, they're off, they're in, they're out, all of this stuff.

And I'm not even going to bother getting into the minutia of all this

because it's a game now.

...