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The Check In

No more Jew noises

The Check In

Joey Coco Diaz

Joey, Comedy, Diaz, Music, Tv & Film

4.818.6K Ratings

🗓️ 4 June 2024

⏱️ 77 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Joey Diaz tells Lee Syatt about his time at UFC 302 and almost passing out, Lee annoys Joey with his restaurant choice, Joey explains the importance of having a home club as a comedian, why he plays such an active roll as a father and much more!

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

It's June 1st to rent this due or it's June 4th. So you got one more day to hide

0:06.6

One more day to crawl in your window

0:11.6

That's a fug dumb day.

0:13.4

But it was a good day. It's gonna be a good week. I had a nice weekend.

0:18.0

How would we start?

0:20.0

Yeah, we're always recording.

0:22.0

I'm recording, okay.

0:24.0

You're sitting there like Zamboda Great.

0:26.0

What's the story? You're sitting like a fucking Swami at the carnival

0:29.0

that you put a quarter in his head and he gives you a fortune.

0:31.0

Like I'm gonna listen to some fucking swami I only feel with the Chinese you know what I'm saying?

0:36.5

They have a Chinese swami maybe? No listen don't even get started it's not happening all right so don't even get started. It's not happening. All right, so don't even go there.

0:46.1

Chinese people don't eat hummus. All right, so let's no. No.

0:50.9

There's no hummus fucking egg-fool young or nothing.

0:53.8

They wouldn't even, that's when I draw a line.

0:57.0

I'd have a talk with my daughter, the other night,

0:59.2

I'd have a talk with my daughter, the other night, I'm going to a kid's party. And she was sitting next to an older girl and the girl goes to my wife.

1:05.8

I'm trying to you know spoil your daughter or whatever the words you know what she used.

1:11.9

And my daughter had a couple ranch next her and a slice of pizza

1:17.3

and I looked at it and I go if you do that here there's no graduation and I'll explain to you later and she just got pale she didn't know like that I ain't doing nothing

1:28.8

And in the car yesterday I just dug into our you listen you ever see what people look like that he rants? They don't look too

1:35.5

healthy, do they? Their rank will swell up. They got fucking orange fingers from the wings and

...

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