We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this

monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 840.

MK1009 certificate number 27256. No Fault

Divorce.

Well the problem is that your mommy and I both want to live with us.

So that's why we decided to go see this family. is that your mommy and I both want you to live with us, see?

So that's why we decided to go see this man,

who I told you is the judge.

And we let him decide because he's very wise and experience about these things.

See, we talked for a few days, and after that we asked what he thought.

You know what he said? You'd be with mommy, you thought it'd be a terrific idea.

If you move in with her and live there from now on and I'm really lucky because I get to have dinner with you once a week and two times a month we spend the weekends together.

Your parents are still married.

They are.

50 years.

No, that's not quite true.

...