This week on The Final Word, we sat ourselves down, braced our spirits, and watched Trump’s big speech — and the most generous thing we can say is that it was only nineteen minutes long. Nineteen. We’ve waited longer for coffee.

In that time, Trump told us that the “core strategic objectives” in the Iran conflict are almost complete. And we’re over here asking, with love and confusion, what are those objectives exactly? Because we checked the syllabus, the glossary, the footnotes — nothing.

Then Trump started talking about alliances like they were coupons he forgot to use. Pulling out of NATO? “Beyond reconsideration.” Telling allies to “go get your own oil”? Sir, this is not how group projects work.

And the timeline for ending the war? Depending on which day you ask, it’s “two weeks, maybe two weeks, maybe three.” We appreciate the flexibility, but this is not a brunch reservation.

And then Trump turned around and called the entire United States stupid for allowing birthright citizenship, all because it looked like his plan to end it wasn’t going anywhere — which is a bold move for someone who keeps losing arguments with basic facts.

Meanwhile, Congress managed to agree on ending the partial Department of Homeland Security shutdown — a rare moment of functionality we will absolutely applaud.

Then came the executive order: a state‑by‑state list of eligible voters and limits on mail ballots. We break down what that means, why it matters, and how we keep our democracy from turning into a group chat with too many admins.

But thank the universe for balance, because NASA launched Artemis II, the first crewed lunar mission in over fifty years, and we are HERE FOR IT. Science is doing what science does: showing up, showing out, and reminding us that humans can, in fact, accomplish things.

And finally, Kristi Noem is asking for privacy as the world learns of her husband's cross-dressing is exposed in the press.

Join us as we sift through the chaos, celebrate the brilliance, and try — truly try — to keep our last nerve intact.

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