Night Thoughts with Kumail Nanjiani

Dear Chelsea

iHeartPodcasts

Self-improvement, Comedy, Education

4.4 • 3.6K Ratings

🗓️ 1 January 2026

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Kumail Nanjiani (OH MARY!, Night Thoughts) joins Chelsea to talk about building trust in a relationship, surviving the loss of his cat Bagel, and why working out is actually very nerdy. Then: A doggy deal breaker is just the tip of the iceberg in one man’s troubled relationship. And tension around tipping leads to an embarrassing situation for a restaurant’s regular.

Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [email protected]

Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	This is an I-Heart podcast.
0:02.9	Guaranteed Human.
0:04.8	I just announced all my tour dates.
0:06.3	It's called the High and Mighty Tour.
0:08.6	I'm coming to Washington, D.C., Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus, and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago, of course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Mesa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri, St. Louis, Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina,
0:40.3	Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California, and Portchester, New York, Boston,
0:48.3	Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now.
0:57.9	If you want to come see me perform, I will be on the high and mighty tour.
1:03.2	Happy New Year, Catherine. It's New Year's Day.
1:07.6	Hi, hi. I'm hoping it's nice and frosty in Whistler. It is not frosty here in L.A.
1:13.2	It is. It's nice and frosty. Unfortunately, I have to head back to L.A. today and leave Whistler, but that's okay because I have to prep for the Critics' Choice Awards. It's going to be so great this year. I'm really excited for you. I'm excited. I'm excited. It's always so fun to do. So we'll just get right into it. This guy's another
1:28.8	comedian. He's probably now one of my favorite comedians after watching his new special and after
1:34.0	spending time with him. I was doing a shoot with him a few months ago. And he is an Oscar nominated
1:40.6	writer, Emmy nominated and SAG Award winning actor and critically acclaimed producer and comedian.
1:46.2	Who's a critically acclaimed producer?
1:48.1	Please welcome Kumail Nanjiani.
1:51.7	For Christmas, everybody.
1:53.4	We brought you a Jew and a Pakistani.
1:57.0	Yes.
1:57.4	And, you know, jerked over a men to night.
1:59.2	That's, you know.
2:00.0	Yeah, exactly.
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 14 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from iHeartPodcasts, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of iHeartPodcasts and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.