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All right, so you find yourself back in Savannah. What's the next part of that pipeline?

So then I'm a 160th pilot. It's called when you get there, you're a basic mission qualified pilot. Is there a ceremony that's like a welcome to the club? Here's your patch. No, but one cool thing was like, I didn't know how I was going to be received as a new guy, right? I was expecting, I don't know, hazing, something. And I get out of my car at the parking lot and I'm walking into the hangar and there's a there's a guy walking towards me, boots unbloused, you know, no headgear, like, you know what I mean? I'm like, fuck yeah, I'm back, you know. But I didn't know how he was going to respond. You know, I didn't know if he was just going to walk by didn't be like, who the hell is this guy? And I get closer and he's a chief one officer

four, so pretty significant rank for a company guy. And he, when he reads my name tape, big

smile on his face and he just goes, CW2 O'Kelly or actually I think he said it my first

name. I think he's like, Nick O'Kelly, we've been he said it my first name I think he's like Nick O'Kelly

we've been waiting for you we're so glad to have you and I'm like what the fuck you know like

you know I'm a new guy right like yeah so it's just totally different atmosphere man like well so if we can

I guess condense the entire pipeline that you just talked about, all lots of positive experiences, memories, et cetera.

Throughout that entire thing, are you still struggling

with your-

The anxiety and dizzy spells, yes,

but the depression and suicidal thoughts were there,

but not scary, to be honest.

They were just, they were fleeting when they happened

But the dizzy spells were there the entire time like if I was in front of every time I had to give a brief

I had to make sure like tactically make sure I had a podium that I could hold my hands on because like I just it was weird

It was like it felt like you know like the

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