meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Nicole LePera: How to Break the Cycle of Trauma Bonds & Stop Toxic Relationship Habits

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

iHeartPodcasts

Health & Fitness, Business, Mental Health

4.8 • 28.5K Ratings

🗓️ 9 September 2024

⏱️ 77 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What are your emotional needs?

How do you communicate them clearly?

Today, Jay welcomes back Dr. Nicole LePera, a holistic psychologist, best-selling author, and founder of the SelfHealers Circle, a global community for self-healing. She is the author of the New York Times bestseller "How to Do the Work," and her latest book, "How to Be the Love You Seek," guides readers on breaking cycles, finding peace, and healing relationships. Dr. LePera is known for her approachable, transformative approach to mental wellness, empowering individuals to heal themselves and live authentically.

Nicole talks about how our earliest experiences shape our adult relationships. She explains the concept of trauma bonds—dysfunctional patterns that often stem from childhood but persist into adulthood, affecting how we connect with others. These bonds can feel familiar and even comforting, but they often prevent us from forming healthy, fulfilling relationships.

Jay and Nicole explore how awareness is the first step toward breaking these patterns. They emphasize the importance of understanding our subconscious beliefs and the roles we play in relationships, often unknowingly repeating cycles of pain and misunderstanding. She talks about the importance of staying present, learning to regulate our emotions, and building healthier habits that align with our true selves, and offers practical advice on how to navigate the complexities of love, whether it's setting boundaries with toxic family members or letting go of unrealistic expectations in romantic relationships.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to recognize trauma bonds

How to break the cycle of reactivity

How to set healthy boundaries

How to cultivate self-awareness

How to develop emotional resilience

How to foster a growth mindset in relationships

Remember, every moment is an opportunity to choose differently, to show up for ourselves with kindness, and to build the relationships we truly deserve.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

  • 00:00 Intro
  • 03:44 You Create Change
  • 06:58 Toxic Family Members
  • 11:21 Change is Voluntary
  • 14:33 Deep Rooted Emotions
  • 18:35 Why We Struggle in Relationships
  • 22:58 The Unmet Needs
  • 27:27 We Project What We Think to Others
  • 34:29 Familiarity with Chaos
  • 38:18 Is It Genuine Love?
  • 41:55 Panic Attack
  • 48:54 Chronic Illness
  • 53:54 Countering Beliefs
  • 57:17 Physiological Shifts
  • 01:01:11 What is a Trauma Bond?
  • 01:04:25 Attraction Based on Familiarity
  • 01:06:24 Inner Child Work
  • 01:09:41 The Habit of Showing Up Authentically

Episode Resources:

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Mental health is now talked about more than ever, which is awesome.

0:05.0

I mean, I don't have to tell you that it's a primary focus of on purpose.

0:09.0

But on a day-to-day basis, many people don't know where to turn or which tools can help.

0:13.8

Over the past couple of years I've been working with calm

0:16.8

to make mental wellness accessible and enjoyable

0:19.8

or as I like to say, fun and easy.

0:22.2

Calm has all sorts of content to help you reduce anxiety and stress,

0:26.1

build mindful habits, improve sleep,

0:28.4

and generally feel better in your daily life.

0:30.9

So many bite-size options from the most knowledgeable experts in the world

0:34.8

along with renowned meditation teachers. You can also check out my seven-minute

0:39.8

daily series to help you live more mindfully each and every day.

0:43.8

Right now, listeners of on purpose get 40% off a subscription to calm premium at

0:48.9

calm.com forward slash jay.

0:51.2

That's cay a lL-M.com forward-S-J-A-Y for 40% off. Calm your mind, change your life.

0:58.0

When you hear all the litany of reasons reminding you of why you're not worthy, right? We notice it, we pull our attention away.

1:04.5

Doesn't mean that I'm gonna feel worthy immediately. Does mean though that I can show up and begin to show up in actions of worthiness.

1:13.1

How might someone who is worthy

1:14.8

treat themselves generally or in this moment?

1:17.2

If we weaken that belief network

1:19.5

by pulling our attention away every time it fires.

1:22.5

And if we're now strengthening a new belief network,

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from iHeartPodcasts, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of iHeartPodcasts and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.