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Pardon My Take

NFL Week 1, Recap Of Every Game, Fastest 2 Minutes, Plus Deion Sanders

Pardon My Take

Barstool Sports

Football, Sports

4.882.2K Ratings

🗓️ 14 September 2020

⏱️ 116 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

ootball is back. Fastest 2 Minutes Week 1( 2:02 - 7:48). We recap every single game on Sunday, the Jets suck, The Bears and Washington Football team may be back, Let Russ Cook, the Aaron Rodgers fuck you tour, fat Randy Bullock and much more (7:48 - 84:05). Football guy of the week (84:05 - 88:56). Deion Sanders joins the show to talk about the big stories from Week 1 (88:56 - 102:11). Who's back of the week including the Nuggets beating the Clippers in a Game 6 that no one watched and chain snatching.


You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Netflix. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey part in my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon Music. On today's part in my take, NFL Week, Motherfucking One, we're back. We are so fucking back. We have so much football to recap. Feel it, love it. It is so, so good. It was incredible. I forgot the experience of just having my eyes feel like they're gonna fall out of my socket. I've watched football for 12 straight hours. We're back. We're gonna recap every single game. Every single game. So your team's gonna get talked about maybe not in a way you want it to be, but they will be talked about. Find another show that does that. We have Deon Sanders for 20 minutes talking about

0:45.2

what would the big takeaways from week one. We have football guy of the week. We have who's back of the week. And of course, we're going to start with the fastest two minutes. Before we do all of that, part of my take is brought to you by the cash app. Now, it's the easiest place to send money to your friends. It's the safest. Go right now, download the cash shop. It's super easy to use. It links directly to your bank account. We love

1:05.6

the cash shop. They're also giving away use. It links directly to your bank account.

1:05.4

We love the cash app.

1:06.4

They're also giving away money left and right on Twitch, on Instagram, on Twitter. You can find them and the cash app will hook you up. And of course, when you download the cash app, they're going to hook you up right now. Download it, use code bar stool. You get $10 for free. $10 for free. goes to the ASPCA, it is that easy. So go download the cash app from the App Store Google

1:25.8

Play Store today and get go download the cash app from the App

1:25.3

Store Google Play Store today and get involved with the cash app. Thank you cash app we love

1:31.0

you. Okay let's go. Now in the streets there is violence And then I laugh so hard for a few things done No pistol hang out, no washing And then I can't live all under sun Oh no, we're gonna run down to E-Le Shrek I value

2:09.6

It's hard in my take

2:16.8

Welcome to part of my take is then by the cash app. Go download it right now Use code bar so you get $10 for free $10 the ASPCA

2:21.6

Today is Monday September 14. And we have week one. One, week one. Fobos back. What? What? What? What? We started hotlana and you're gonna wanna Carlos hide your kids, hide your wife because Mr. Unlimited is in town talking to you future Matt Ryan Racillo got quite an arm workout today throwing 54 passes and Calvin Cooley Ridley wasn't so silent with two touchdowns at 130 yards. Surprise surprise DK Mechkafer and a straight line is the crow flies to pay dirt in this bird fight.

3:07.0

Good thing Dan Quinn was wearing a mask because Skete Carroll dropped a load on the dirty birds in a touching tribute to Jamal Anderson. C.OX 38 Falcon 25. What? What? What? And Western New York Frank Al Gore took his giant balls onto his private jet and landed

3:27.5

in the alcohol.

3:29.0

Everyone in the Josh pit as much Allen let the bodies hit the floor, running for 57 yards in a touchdown. The jet's offense looked terrible, but the one guy they couldn't de-platform as Jeremy S. Stephen Crowder, who had 11 or 115 yards in a touchdown. Hey, Tage, ya boom, first time all year. No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. Those 27, touch 17. We go west to Detroit where David Fought Gummery was a great ball career and acted like a Times New Roman swipe, helping the bears finish after a full 60 minutes of pounding Deandre Taylor Swift said Someday I'll be dropping a game winning TD and all these hands will ever be is beat Jamie cutie's Collins acted very inappropriate for his age and the videos of the incident have no place on American television The Bears Bears are back, 27 Lions 23. Some spread. Sticking in the NFC Norse, Aaron Rodgers and Matt LaFlora are a hashtag fringals, but they should be hashtag froze before pros. After putting up 43 points, Bissy Bistaminer Johnson tried to work it, but the entire Viking's office would have liked to flip it and reverse it when it came to the scoreboard.

4:45.4

You lost it cause and steal and oh that cousin's stealing you've lost that cousin's stealing now it's gone gone gone Oh and one and one and one oh and one packs is 43 the Vikings 34 What? What? What?

5:05.6

In Foxboro the new look Patriots served up a bowl of New England cam chowder as Crill Bellachek and James Great White. Game plan like a bunch of Japanese fishermen looking for two of fish, but slaughtered a bunch of dolphins instead. Ryan Fish Patrick was flopping around and Miles Gaskin Robbins played like 31 flavors of crap as the dolphins fall to the past 21 11 Bumble! Dow 95 to Washington, some call me red kids, some call me warriors, some call me red wolves, that's not my name, that's not my name, that's not my name, The Eagles came out hot, but their play was spotify in the second half. As Joe Logan Thomas and the team put a three hour long back and forth on tape until Carson wins eventually tapped out from too many body blows. Like a Phoenix Suns hotel room, the Eagles were exposed to eight sacks. The Washington football team, 27, Eagles 17. Inville, where Gardner, min shooter MacGavin continues his quest for a gold jacket. Colts wide receivers, Paris and Hilton were out of focus and might as well have been picking up phone calls when they were trying to score. Stop me if you heard this before, Teige, but Phillip Rivers was down late in the fourth quarter, needing a score and Marlon's man Mac had to watch from the front row the Colts fall short to do ball 27 20 Standing on the corner James Winston down in no less such a fine side to see It's DB 12 my lord looking like a beat up for maybe time to mix in a strawberry The White House hamstrings Lucy he's throwing hands like Bruce Lee Hey Mike Chris sevens you're getting guarded like you're up Lucy the Saints go marching Juicy, Jay, Juisek, and Jimmy Guapolo got caught in the trap as Kenyan anti-locked tricks made for a smooth driving experience for the upstart Cardinals. All the talk around the league this week was about O'Donneau Beckham and Pupu, but it was P.P. Patrick Peterson that came up with a big play making the Cardinals look like their number one. The 49ers may have to clip Kingsbury of ball after this disappointing loss to start the season. Cardinals 24, Niders 20. We finish in Tensil Town where coach Mike Jenny McCarthy looked like an anti-daxer. Refusing to take shots downfield. Jared Hasselgoff, that's a joke teach get it We took him Jerry Jones might be needing his own lifeguard of his own after this loss the cowboys go down to Opening night 2017 All right weak one Sunday in the books Holy shit football is all the way the way back. It felt normal. It felt normal. I know the fans. It's weird, but it once the ball got kicked off and once everyone turned on red zone and they're like seven hours of commercial free football, it felt normal. Right. And that's what's great about football is that there aren't that many shots of the stand. So you can suspend disbelief.

8:25.0

You can be like, we're fine.

8:26.4

Everything's good.

8:27.4

I was a little rusty at first because dealing with my new cable service, I didn't know what channel the red zone package was on. I had a hard time this morning. I had to sit down for my TV. I made sure to sit down 30 minutes early, get all my ducks in a row, get my computers turned pulled up. You do not want to miss a single second of the action.

8:44.0

I had a great time today.

8:44.9

Fuck yes, football is back.

8:46.2

And we've got two games, we've got the Sergio dip game tomorrow.

...

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