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Music Well, today, if you hear a lot of background noise, that's because somebody is draining my septic tank.

Hallelujah.

It's a wonderful feeling, a wonderful day to be alive.

And I imagine the guys out there draining the septic tank are having

a marvelous day, knee deep in whatever is flowing from the septic tank. I wanted to talk to you

today about newspapers. I love newspapers. I adore newspapers. There is nothing I miss half so much as beginning my morning with an unfurled newspaper. It's a hard thing. You can't find them much anymore. But newspapers at one time in America used to be everything, and I missed them.

I just, I wish we could, our culture revolved around them.

Recently, I went looking for a newspaper.

We were out.

It was a small town somewhere in the southeast, a big shopping complex off the interstate.

You know, they had the best buys and the red lobsters and

the Olives and the Olive Gardens and the Outback Steakhouses and the Targets and all the other

franchises that transform American towns into carbon copies of themselves from oil slick to shining

oil slick. And I walked into a gas station to buy coffee and a newspaper, but something was wrong.

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