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Hello. I regret to say this show does not actually go out live.

If you don't believe me, here's a copy of yesterday's newspaper.

By the time this show is broadcast, the news has often changed.

This week, for example, by the time you listen to this,

there might have been further leaks about the Downing Street parties.

We might have found out that the Prime Minister did absolutely nothing wrong, legally or morally.

We might, by contrast, be digesting the news that rhinoceros' are technically fish.

And we might have been invaded by snooker-playing aliens who've installed Steve Davis as Emperor of all the Britons.

All equally plausible scenarios we just don't know.

So do please forgive us if events have eventuated in the interim.

As you listen to this week's News Quiz.

Hello, welcome to the News Quiz. I am Andy Zoltz.

We just have a bit of a last minute change to the show.

We were going to do the opening section as a missing words round,

but we only have 28 minutes.

And there are way too many missing words.

I didn't think a missing pages round would work so well,

or indeed a missing vast tracts of evidence and any detail whatsoever round.

So we just...

As we go, let's meet this week's teams.

Now we have team 12 big missions against team 12 pages with very big omissions.

...