News from September 18, 1982

Garrison Keillor's Podcast

Prairie Home Productions

Society & Culture, Fiction, Comedy Fiction, Improv, Comedy

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 15 September 2024

⏱️ 13 minutes

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Summary

09.18..82 This week in Lake Wobegon, the Whippets had a big celebration at the Sons of Knute lodge to celebrate a final game win against the Avon Bards. Hjalmer Ingqvist spent time at the party drinking whiskey because his wife told him about her plans to do a makeover of the house, including peach and apricot.Some men of the lodge were down in the basement building giant duck decoys to be used at Pete Peterson’s house. Pete would shoot ducks right out of his basement window till his wife was startled one too many times. Now he uses a duck blind out behind the house.AS A PAID SUBSCRIBER, YOU WOULD RECEIVE A MONOLOGUE IN YOUR INBOX EVERY SUNDAY. THESE ARE MONOLOGUES THAT ONLY WERE BROADCAST ONE TIME AND CURRENTLY ARE NOT AVAILABLE ON ANY OF OUR WEBSITES.BY SUBSCRIBING, YOU WOULD HAVE ACCESS TO OVER 100 MONOLOGUES RELEASED TO THE BACK ROOM OVER THE LAST TWO YEARS.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Well, it has been a quiet week in Lake Wobagon, Minnesota, the little town that time forgot.
0:05.0	There was a big celebration there, though, two weeks ago, the Boosters Club put on a big party at the Sons of Canute Temple
0:12.0	to celebrate the Lake Wobagon Whippets winning their last game of the season.
0:17.0	That was on Labor Day weekend. We didn't get the score in time to put it on the show,
0:22.8	but they beat the Avon Bards by a score of eight to four. And I guess if there was a turning point
0:29.0	in that game, it came in the top of the fifth inning when Ronnie out in center field went deep,
0:35.8	deep for a long fly ball.
0:37.8	One of the bards sluggers had hit out there.
0:40.8	Ronnie really put on the steam for it.
0:42.6	He went back.
0:43.2	He went up against the fence.
0:44.4	He went through the fence.
0:46.3	And he tore out, oh, I think about 100 feet of snow fence out there.
0:52.7	The bards came to tell the umpire about it, Mr. Halverson,
0:56.5	old Mr. Halverson, he's retiring
0:58.2	at the end of this season, retired now.
1:00.8	They said,
1:01.5	he knocked down the fence, Mr.
1:04.0	Halverson.
1:05.4	And Mr. Halverson says,
1:06.7	well, of course they're not on the bench.
1:08.2	They're out in the field, can't you see?
	...

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