Welcome back to Unlocked and Part 4 of Prison Diaries.

If you listen to last week, what a freaking roller coaster, what a huge

huge just bundle of emotion all of that was I don't know if I love or hate the fact that I haven't read the letters before coming on here and reading them.

Part of me hates it because I was not emotionally prepared for that. Part of me loves it because it's real raw and I don't know if you guys remember but the first episode of the podcast. I don't know what's making me think of this right now but

the first episode of the podcast ever

Aaron kind of like called me out and was like hey like this isn't going to be successful if you have that

filter that you're used to having for TV. For 10 years I basically was on a comedy show and I had to show up happy and excited and was full of

laughter even if my world was absolutely falling apart.

And Aaron was just like, hey, like, if you're just gonna put a smile on your face

and, you know, act like everything's great then I don't know how long this is going to last and it took a long time for me to kind of slowly chisel away at that automatic filter that I had on myself.

So part of me is really proud of the fact that I can show up and have emotion.

If I'm being real, because ever since I was a kid, I was just so good at hiding my emotions and just performing putting on a show you need me to show up you need me to laugh you need me to act a certain way I got you and that's really no way to be because you cheat not only others but like you

cheat yourself out of real raw emotions and feelings and actually working through that process of grief, love, laughter.

Every emotion has a process and when you're constantly faking your emotions,

there's no way to see that process through.

So I'm kind of happy that I've waited to read these just because I'm forced to feel the emotions.

Our next letter starts on November 23rd, 2023, day 311. Thanksgiving Day. Thank you, Lord, for so many blessings.

Yes, I'm sitting in prison, but I still have so much to be thankful for.

First and foremost, my personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

I'm not sure how someone survives prison without it and I'm so glad I won't ever know.

My family is healthy and doing okay. I'm so grateful for each and every one of them.

Well, I decided to cook for Thanksgiving. I fought against it, but I decided to do it.

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