One of my new frontiers is realizing how much fear has dictated my following God and my personal growth. I have let the wacky and the fear of me being labeled as wacky dictate kind of what I think,

what I believe, what I do and don't do, in some degree, has been less about following

God and more about managing kind of my image.

And Jesus came to me in just this wonderful few days

and kind of had this conversation with me

if there's a continuum of wacky and one is wacky and one extreme

and ten is wacky on the other, just showed me how my posture's been. Well, I want to be balanced,

so I'm going to be a five.

And I found the theology and the comfort level of scripture to support being a five, a balanced Christian.

And Jesus came and said,

you know Craig, I'm not asking you to be wacky,

I am asking you to follow me,

and you need to know.

I'm not at the five. I'm at an 8.5 I am closer to that to what you

you mean yes to what I've labeled is a tan and wacky, Jesus is saying, where you think I am and where I am are two

different things.

And it's like, ah, ah, I've got to move on this continuum from balanced theological

perspective over to here and I'm just going this is going to be all new. This is all going

to be new. Scary and out of my control. But the question is,

am I going to follow?

Am I going to follow?

And I'm intent on following him and scared to death in the process.

...