Never knowingly helpful
Giles Coren Has No Idea
The Times
4.3 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 6 October 2023
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Giles and Esther take a pragmatic look at the Tory party conference and wonder what the pay off might be to go with many of the policy announcements. Neither are happy at the idea of doing maths until they’re eighteen, after all many of Giles’ friends from set four did very well without it, thank you very much.
Exeter university are running a masters course on magic, you can imagine the reaction. The art of the citizen’s arrest…Giles has tried on more than one occasion and failed, and that was when he was young and fit, before he hit the male menopause. Maybe he’d batter take some time off work to recuperate.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | So it's just a big story in North Wales today, but I didn't know where it came from. |
| 0:05.6 | Chris Phil, police minister, if you see a shoplift you'll arrest them. |
| 0:10.0 | Um, yeah. |
| 0:11.0 | It's all just an excuse you fucking stuff, we just start. |
| 0:17.4 | Ah yes, I thought we could start by, we're not at the Tory party conference, we're not |
| 0:21.8 | at any party conference. |
| 0:22.8 | We're not recording live from the Tory party conference. |
| 0:24.6 | We're not, well I think we are the only journalist in the whole of the UK, not recording |
| 0:28.0 | live from the Tory party conference. |
| 0:29.2 | So I wondered if we could maybe recreate the Tory party conference in our house by just |
| 0:35.4 | getting very drunk and feeling each other up. |
| 0:37.0 | Oh you guys, I was going to say by standing up and wearing a skirt so you can be really racist. |
| 0:41.2 | There are two ways to do it. |
| 0:42.9 | You've actually been to Tory party conference, so you know what kind of shit goes down, right? |
| 0:48.2 | And you went back in the bad old days with no camera phones and... |
| 0:52.2 | Um, oh god, I just had something else to say about the Tory people talking about. |
| 0:55.6 | And me, and my experience is, well my first Tory party conference, I discovered the same |
| 1:02.8 | one as George Orton, but I was like, I'm just, I was going to start off, I noticed this |
| 1:16.8 | photo drop of Suella, did you see or come to maths and what immigrant? |
| 1:20.4 | No, is she, is she doing confidence starts? |
| 1:22.6 | She, have you seen the picture? |
| 1:24.2 | No, no. |
... |
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