I would like to thank my three new patrons, Chrissy, Jasmine and KK. If you'd like to support

the podcast, head over to my Patreon page, where you will receive ad-free episodes and new

exclusive scary stories every week for just $5 a month. The link is in the description below,

and now time for the story. December 14th. I fucking hate Benzoba Zooey. The little bastard popped

up on network television less than two months ago and took the world by storm. I don't see the

appeal. He's just some purple thing with purple fur, googly eyes, and a goofy smile.

Despite its unoriginality, Benzoba Zooey has become the hot ticket item for this Christmas.

Nothing else is capturing kids' attention like Benzoba Zooey. And sadly, my son Billy is no

exception. Nothing will do as a substitute. Any suggestions with alternatives have

always ended with tears and tantrums. I thought maybe this would be a teachable moment,

an opportunity for him to learn you can't always get what you want. My wife had only

scaled and reminded me that he's only two years old. Guess it's going to be a Benzoba Zooey

Christmas. December 15th. I sit at my computer sweating as the price continues to climb on eBay.

My bid is at $700 and I'm already $300 over the limit I had set for myself.

The price is holding firm for the first time all day. My office desk sits under a massive

pile of paperwork, neglected because of the purple nightmare that has taken up my life.

Hey Dave. Shane, the new intern slides into my cubicle. I got a question about, say, what you got there?

It's nothing. I try to close the browser, but he slides up closer. Benzoba Zooey?

Nothing really has no age limit, huh? It's for my son. A gasp as the price suddenly doubles.

What? How is this stupid thing worth more than a PS5? Yeah, Shane sits on the corner of my desk.

My niece and nephew are Gaga for him too. Glad I was able to nab one for each of them.

Two, I bolt up from my chair. I can't even find one. How did you manage two? Shane

...