Shivora Sam phones a friend part one, or why winning anything has never sucked so much.

Player One is me, Lady Saber, 16 at the time, born exchange student here on a two-year program,

undergoing culture shock, and suffering chronic cringe pain from daily interactions with Sam.

Player Two is Sam Well Spaghetti Breath, King of the Ravioli, the Fedachini, Lord of the Sandal

Socks, and Protector of the Ladies, complete, lard, wears cargo shorts, Minecraft hoodie,

new ballon sneakers, and Argyle Fedora. He wreaks like the garbage disposal of an Italian restaurant.

Supporting character Three is John, previously identified as Cute Boy. Slightly taller than Sam,

he and I share a lot of common interests, or, or at the very least, interested in each other's

interests. We're not dating yet, but it's heading in that direction. He and his family are from

Louisiana, so he speaks passable French with a funny accent that I make fun of often.

Ask Fred is an online registration system used to sign up for fencing tournaments,

it's a great tool to see who is going to be at a tournament and how many fensors will attend.

This story takes place the Sunday after Sam's first fencing lesson at a local tournament.

If you haven't seen that video, the link is down below in the description.

It's a rather large event with a great mix of fensors. My coach has regularly sent emails to

update our group with upcoming tournaments, and Sam is on this list now. After a few days of

school and minor cringey run-ins with Sam, I'm looking forward to a Sunday of competing for the

first time in a long time, and the first time in America. The Sabre event is in the afternoon,

foil is in the morning, and epe is in between. I register on Ask Fred a few days prior.

John has expressed an interest in my fencing, so he's tagging along to watch this tournament.

It's about an hour drive, so we sit in the back seat and talk about our classes.

Both he and my host mother don't know much about fencing tournaments, so I'm waxing eloquent

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