Oh, okay, well this is going to be a little bit heavier of an episode than any of the

others on this show, but I think it's important to talk about and I'm going to do my best

not to cry.

No promises.

I've actually recorded this before already and it went on way too long and it was really

emotional.

So I waited a little bit longer to record it.

And so hopefully I'm a little bit more emotionally prepared for this today, but it is not an easy

thing to talk about.

But if you have no idea what I'm referring to, in case you missed it a few weeks ago,

Matt and I shared pretty heartbreaking news.

We lost our first baby to a miscarriage.

I was pregnant and miscarried and I hate that word to be honest, but what was supposed

to be a pregnancy announcement ended up being a tribute to the very precious and very

short life that we loved so so much.

And it's been a few weeks, actually several weeks now, since we found out the news and

honestly, my mom's heart is still very shattered.

I'm still reeling in many ways.

I'm still confused, longing for answers that I may never get.

And it's still pretty raw and fresh for me to be honest.

So that's why I say like this isn't easy to talk about and in some ways I would prefer

not to.

...