Narcissists: Why They Must Lie and Shift Blame
Lisa A Romano Breakdown to Breakthroughs
Lisa A. Romano
4.8 • 806 Ratings
🗓️ 4 February 2020
⏱️ 9 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Narcissism is rooted in the need to avoid shame. This is done through the creating of a false self. Lies help boost the fantasy of the false self and lying to others keeps the fantasy alive, thus allowing the narcissist to avoid having to come into contact with their unhealed selves. They wound others yet demand they are the victims. They avoid responsibility by shifting the blame.
In this episode, we break it down.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Breakdown to Breakthrough podcast. |
| 0:06.0 | My name is Lisa A. Romano. |
| 0:08.0 | I am a life coach, best-selling author, YouTube vlogger, meditation teacher, an expert in the field of codependency and narcissistic abuse. |
| 0:16.0 | I am a believer in the power of an organized mind. |
| 0:20.0 | My aim is to help people learn what it means to live above the veil of consciousness |
| 0:24.9 | rather than living a reactive life. |
| 0:28.3 | May your heart feel blessed, your mind feel expanded, and your spirit find hope |
| 0:32.8 | as you spend time with me here at the Breakdown to Breakthrough podcast. |
| 0:38.9 | So today we're going to be talking about narcissists, why they lie, and what we can do about it. |
| 0:45.5 | And so let's get a couple of things straight. |
| 0:47.9 | Narcissism is about lying. |
| 0:50.2 | And narcissism is about the need to flee from this fractured sense of self, this shame, |
| 0:59.0 | this pit of shame that we feel within our being. So when we are a narcissist, we think in |
| 1:05.1 | very stark black and white realities. And we have these realities of others as well as ourselves. So if I am a |
| 1:12.8 | narcissist, I see myself as either all good and amazing or all bad. And I mean really bad. And so |
| 1:20.2 | what neuroscientists have figured out is that narcissists actually, when they lie, the amygdala is |
| 1:26.6 | suppressed. The amygdala is responsible for the |
| 1:29.4 | fight or flight response in our bodies. And so lying to a narcissist is actually calming. It has this |
| 1:36.5 | anesthetic effect, if you will. So narcissism is should, or in my opinion, should be understood as |
| 1:44.1 | the need to lie and when we understand |
| 1:47.6 | when we're dealing with the narcissist that their brain is wired to seek pleasure in the form of |
| 1:53.1 | lying and so not lying or telling the truth is associated with pain because if I tell the truth I lose Because if I tell the truth, I lose control. |
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